Saturday, May 27, 2006

Lesbian Confessions of a Japanese Teacher

This is sort of a retro post, I should have posted it in the beginning of the week but I was too busy and tired to do so. So here it is Saturday but I am referring to many things that happened to me this week.

Monday, I had very few classes so I decided to work on some トライやる (Try Yaru {yaru=to do/give}) Week for my students. Every year we do 2 トライやる・ウィーク activities a year. We do one typically in June and on in November. Try Yaru Week is basically a chance for students to get experience in the work force. They work at companies and get experience that should show them a little what life is like to work in the real world.

Well as an English teacher for a public school district we are asked to create an international experience for students using English, activities, and culture. We have to put on a program much like an English camp. They call it a ミニー国際交流(mini international exchange). We have between 30-40 students who come and want to learn about foreign cultures, English, the west etc...

Wikipedia: トライやるウィーク

So anyway I am sitting at one of the workstations at work getting materials ready for トライやるウィークand one of the teachers approaches me. She's always been a very nice lady and I have enjoyed talking to her in the past. She likes learning English but she is not an English teacher.

On that day she had a mischievious look about her. I was wondering what was going on so I asked her, "How are you". Normally I'd get the ingrained reply "I'm fine thank you and you." But this time it went awry, instead of the typical reply I get, "I'm a lesbian". At first I wasn't sure that she'd said what she'd said, so I asked, "What did you say?" To which she said in both English and Japanese "I'm a lesbian."

I sat there for what seemed like days wondering how to respond. It's not every day you are confronted with homosexuality jumping out of the skeleton closet so quickly and without any kind of motivation or prodding. It's like going to meet a friend at a beach that turns out to be nude-only. So I did what I do in most situations where I feel uncomfortable, I embraced it with fierce passion. I gave her a high five and taught her the phrase "Right on." To which she continued to use throughout the day. She's worse than a parrot on steroids.

So you'd expect that conversation to end, with the high-five and all... but no, it went on. She discussed or at least attempted to discuss in her best English why she became a lesbian, who her girlfriend is, and the whole 411. And then, abruptly she slams on the brakes and stares deep into my eyes and says "But I like men too. I really like men." She really stressed "really" to the point of cracking her voice. I don't know what she was hinting at but she knows I am happily married and have no desire whatsoever to shack up with her.

So then I told her that maybe she was not a lesbian, and in fact she might be a bi-sexual. To which she seemed to agree, but then she told me her lover (from Osaka) is a strict lesbian. And then she popped the zit of knowledge all over the place as to why she and her friend/lover *she said both words to describe the person* were lesbians. They both are in their mid-30s and had been married with children. Both of their husbands left them. My co-worker's ex-husband had split on the family to join one of the infamous cult groups in Japan, and I didn't even bother to ask about lover-friend's situation. But it turns out they became lesbian (is this possible?... I always thought it was an all or nothing ordeal) but she says they became lesbians after their divorces.

I would never have thought in a million years that some teacher would approach me with their sexual preferences, ever. And yet she certainly did. I was surprised and have added it down as one of those more than memorable days to keep in the active memory department.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Rainy Days

Man it feels like the clouds have swelled like a bull kicked in the balls. We've been pummeled by rain for about 4 days now. It's gloomy and depressing, but it does cool it down a bit.

The downside to rain in Japan is that schools close the windows. What's the problem with this you might be thinking. Well, most schools here have no air conditioning/heating/central air so when they clamp down the windows with 30+ sweatly little monsters, it gets hot and humid in minutes. I hate it, so I usually make them open the windows even if rain drips in a bit. I just can't stand humidity and sweaty funky smells.

Today I taught 3 classes, 2 nensei. In the morning I was down as I am still sick. But after a few cups of green tea, some cough drops and cough medicine I was slowly building myself back up to speed. By 5th period today, I was strumming along with the JTE. We had it down and the lesson went smoothly.

Today I was asked what I have learned about Japanese culture. Normally I'd say something about Kabuki, Sumo, Jpop or something like that. But today I decided to break down and share some interesting Japanese vocabulary I had learned. I talked about botton benjo.
Botton benjo (plop toilet)
Japanese-style toilet of the primitive sort which is underlain by a huge empty box.


I think it might have confused some kids as they didn't know what a botton benjo is. Basically botton benjo is a rather old style toliet. Botton is a word that describes the sound of "plopping". I thought it was worth noting.

In the US, there are similar toilets:

A typical outhouse is nothing more than a botton benjo without the box underneath. Typically a hole would be dug underneath the toilet portion of a outhouse and then the outhouse would be moved when the hole fills.

Other than the botton benjo my day has been pretty much the same. I did cancel my night class due to being sick. I need time to recuperate from being sick.

Now I am watching a great podcast called GEEKDROME:

Geekdrome Episode 25 - May 15, 2006

Exclusive E3 EPISODE; REVIEWS: "Mission Impossible 3" Silent Hill" "Stick It"; TRAILERS: "12 and Holding" "Lady in Water"; NEWS: "Knight Rider", "Beverly Hills Cop 4", "Enders Game", "Red Sonja"; COMICS: "Infinite Crisis", "Marvel Civil War"; COMICS FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE COMICS: "Fire"; VIDEO GAMES: E3!!!!!


Watching that episode now.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Feel like shit today

Well let's just say today's one of those day's you'd rather keep hidden under the flab of skin between your A-hole and your sack. I am sick, have a hacking cough that just won't go away, my voice box feels like some three toed sloth dug deep down into it. I had to teach 4 classes today as was struggling to get through it. Some days you just want to die, and well, today's not one for me but it's nearly like that.

So on the way home from work I loaded up on some "Styx" Renegade style.




Styx - Renegade Lyrics
(Tommy Shaw)

Oh Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law

Law man has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my
home

The jig is up, the news is out

They finally found me

The renegade who had it made

Retrieved for a bounty

Never more to go astray

This'll be the end today

Of the wanted man



Oh Mama, I've been years on the lam and had a high price on my
head

Lawman said 'Get him dead or alive' and it's for sure he'll see
me dead

Dear Mama I can hear you cryin', you're so scared and all
alone

Hangman is comin' down from the gallows and I don't have very
long



The jig is up, the news is out

They finally found me

The renegade who had it made

Retrieved for a bounty

Never more to go astray

The judge'll have revenge today

On the wanted man



Oh Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law

Law man has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my
home



The jig is up, the news is out

They finally found me

The renegade who had it made

Retrieved for a bounty

Never more to go astray

This'll be the end today

Of the wanted man
That seemed to make things a bit better.

Word to the wise, if you teach, stay away from the slobbering blobbering boogers that flip and flap, and hack and bark. Because they're likely to get you sick and down and out. I love the little fart smackers but I hate their diseases.