Big Booger's Blog On Japan

Bear's Garden Preschool International

2009-10-07T23:24:00.004+09:00

I am now working at a preschool and having a totally different experience than I was while working for public schools. The school is "Bear's Garden Preschool International" in Himeji City. It's a fun school and the kids are great. All the time I am learning new things about early childhood education, nutrition, culture, and so on. Kids are really like little sponges in the sense that they absorb not only language but also manners, gestures, and just about anything else they see. I am having a really fun time at this school and hope to update this blog regularly with my new experiences at Bear's Garden.

Kyoto-sensei tries to reach Dopey-kun

2007-11-15T14:13:00.000+09:00

Today a student whom I have discussed before and is known as Dopey-kun came slithering into the teacher's room during normal class hours. It was my planning period and so I sat there watching this scene unfold. They kyoto-sensei was sitting at his desk working on his computer when this san-nensei kid comes up behind him and starts spying on what he is doing. He got almost over his shoulder when the kyoto-sensei jerked around and faced the student.

The boy didn't even appear startled but continued to stare at whatever was on the computer screen. He then sat down next to the vice-principal and started trying to quiz him about his work. I guess this ticked off the vice-principal because he soon unleashed a tirade on this kid. He started asking him why he was in the teacher's room, why he wasn't studying with the rest of the students, why his hair was hanging over his face, and why his uniform was all disorganized. He wasn't acting mean about it, only a little aggressive. It looked as if he were trying to help the kid to realize what a crappy life that he will have in store for himself if he keeps on heading down the road that he is on.

I guess this ticked off the student enough so that he left the teacher's room. Well not to be ignored the vice-principal followed him out in the hallway and started giving him another earful. Soon however, the kyoto-sensei was joined by a 3rd year teacher and they somehow managed to get that kid back into the classroom. But I know for sure, the moment he returned, he would throw his head down on his desk and sleep because this kid is not interested in learning or anything like that. He is totally unreachable and that's partly why he earned the nickname "Dopey-kun."

A Burst of Energy

2007-11-02T11:24:00.000+09:00

Lately I found that as we approach winter my tension level goes down the toilet. I start to slow down, get less excited and basically enter a tutelage hibernation. I loose focus and just don't give it my all. That's not to say I don't teach, or that I am taking time off. I just sort of reduce the entertainment factor of teaching. A skillful teacher combines education with entertainment to really captivate those flowering minds which I normally do, but with the cold comes the slow down.

So it really startled the teachers that I teach with when I started giving it my all. I really laid down quite a show for students, a lot of yelling, cheering, much praise and so on. I even did a little skit or mini-play with the Japanese teacher to get the kids more interested in the content of the textbook we are using. (We are talking about a hearing dog named Mio and how she helps Ms Matsumoto in her daily life). Now I think the content is very important but the way it is presented is boring.

So I acted out the parts with the Japanese teacher and a volunteer student and really gave quite a performance. That set up the class to be more active and proved to work as I had planned it. I am still wondering where this burst of energy came from? Maybe from the sweet potato pie?

Sweet Potato Pie

2007-10-31T11:06:00.000+09:00

The other day I posted about digging sweet potatoes サツマイモwith my special education students and how much fun that was. Well today I baked sweet potato pie with those students in their classroom. We brought in a portable oven from the home economics room, all the supplies we needed and went to town whipping up a masterful sweet potato pie worthy of award.

I got the idea to make the pie after browsing the internet and stumbling upon a recipe for sweet potatoes. I knew those students had harvested like 40 kilograms or more of sweet potatoes and that they were looking for a way to get rid of them all. They even sold some to teachers for a 100 yen for a pack of 4. They had made some sweet potato dishes all last week and this week I thought it would be nice to give them an American style dessert.

The actual recipe came from allrecipes.com and just in case you are curious about making it here's the recipe:

SUBMITTED BY: Joyce Waits PHOTO BY: mikamuffin
"This recipe was shared with me by a special friend in Atlanta, Ga. It has long been a favorite, and everyone who tastes it says it is the best they have ever had."

PREP TIME 30 Min

COOK TIME 1 Hr 50 Min

READY IN 2 Hrs 20 Min

SERVINGS & SCALING

Original recipe yield: 1 - 9 inch pie

US METRIC

About scaling and conversions

INGREDIENTS

1 (1 pound) sweet potato
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup milk
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 (9 inch) unbaked pie crust

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DIRECTIONS

Boil sweet potato whole in skin for 40 to 50 minutes, or until done. Run cold water over the sweet potato, and remove the skin.
Break apart sweet potato in a bowl. Add butter, and mix well with mixer. Stir in sugar, milk, eggs, nutmeg, cinnamon and vanilla. Beat on medium speed until mixture is smooth. Pour filling into an unbaked pie crust.
Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 55 to 60 minutes, or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Pie will puff up like a souffle, and then will sink down as it cools.

It went rather well and the kids loved the pie. We had extra so we shared it with other teachers who expressed interest in sweets. It was the best sweet potato pie I have ever eaten.

Halloween Party

2007-10-29T13:01:00.001+09:00

On Sunday my wife and I held a Halloween party for students in the neighborhood where my wife teaches English. It was a costume party and so all students were asked to wear a costume. So we also had to make and wear a costume too. My wife at first decided to be an angel, but when it appeared that making large enough wings would be a big challenge, she changed her mind and decided on being a butterfly instead. Her costume took all of 30 minutes to make. She used two clothes hangers for wings, and a plastic headband with two wires bent to look like antennae. She covered the wings in construction paper and made polka dots for the wings out of scraps.

I then decided that I wanted to be a robot. We had several cardboard boxes lying in a corner so I figured I should put them to good use. My idea was to make a full body costume with two large boxes and then use some pieces for arms. The head piece I created out of extra pieces I had left over.

Well after three hours of cutting, taping, sizing up and so on I was finished. The robot body looked great with a head hole, and two arm holes. The legs were made out of one large box and they looked ok. The arms looked pretty nice and they were attached with paper string wrapped around and tied tightly.

The helmet looked the best. It reminded me of Optimus Prime from Transformers. In reality it probably looked more like a cylon than Prime. I was fairly proud of my cardboard costume. However, it looked like cardboard and that didn't remind me of any robot at all. So by this time it was late into the night and I had to get up early as this costume party started at 10am and it was an hour drive from our house. Before I went to bed I decided to try out an idea I had to get this robot costume in better shape. I broke out the aluminium foil and covered the helmet with it. When I had finished I knew this costume was going to be awesome. But by then it was nearly 1am so I decided to go to bed and get up early to finish.

It didn't happen. I woke up at 8:30am and had to rush to get ready for the party. Then I decided to finish it before the students arrived. I just had to cover the body, and arms, as I decided to leave the legs because I had limited mobility with them on. So we get to the classroom where the party is and no one was there. It was 9:30am and I figured I had plenty of time to finish. Well my wife needed help setting up the room , getting decorations prepared and so on. By the time we finished it was 9:50. That left me with 10 minutes so I started covering the rest of my costume with foil. Students started arriving and they helped me get it finished. By 10:10am we started the party and the students really liked my costume. They all agreed it was the best and thanks to their help I was able to finish it.

I had even built a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher to give the costume that menacing look. But I wasn't the only aluminium foiled costumed character. Another student showed up in an alien-themed costume complete with aluminium alien antennae. All-in-all it was a great party and the kids had a fantastic time, and I did too. We played loads of games, learned some Halloween vocabulary and ate caramel apples that we made ourselves.

The Balloon Incident

2007-10-26T10:15:00.000+09:00

On Tuesday I taught a group of 小学生　しょうがくせい、elementary kids at an elementary school that is near my current junior high school. I have been teaching these kids for two years but only one month a year, namely every October/November.

In the last class I taught they the phrase:

Q. "Can I have a (color) + (animal)?" A. "Sure."

So I run through the names of animals and colors. I taught them ten colors and about fifteen animal names, everything from turkey to zebra. And during this class we reviewed what we learned last week. We practiced as a group and then I decided to try a new game with the students.

I brought some balloons that I purchased at100円ショップ「ザ・ダイソー」,100 Yen Plaza for this game. I had students make 5 groups and form a line. I then asked two vounteers to come up and demonstrate the rules of the game for everyone to see.

I explained to the kids that they had to put the balloon between their knees and pass to the person behind. Before they could pass they must ask the person behind the target sentence, "Can I have a ~?" and that person must reply before they pass. Obviously this is difficult to understand so I asked the Japanese teacher to explain it in detail. He did and so I thought they understood how the game works.

So I asked the two volunteers to demonstrate the game. They started out just fine, the boy in the front turned to the girl behind with a long balloon between his knees. He said, "Can I have a brown bear?" And the girl replied, "Sure." Nothing wrong with that. So I was looking around at the rest of the students to judge if they understood so far. And it looked like they got the just of it.

But the second I turned around to look out our demonstrators I was startled beyond belief. Now, I can honestly say I never expected what happened to happen, and I should have been more thorough in my explanation to the Japanese teacher. I am sure had another foreigner been there or had this happened in America, I might be in jail right now.

What I saw was the boy standing there with this long balloon between his legs, and the girl bent over with her back to the boy. The boy was trying hard to pass the balloon to the girl but if you saw what was happening it certainly would have left you seriously pondering about the innocence of these children. It looked at least to me as if they were doing some sort of hanky panky routine. I wanted to laugh to relieve the embarassment or trepidation, but I knew better.

Instead I jumped up and told them to stop and then I demonstrated with the Japanese teacher the right way. The students should stand face to face and pass the balloon with their knees, then the second student should pass the balloon in the same way to the third and so on. What made it worse was the horrified look on the parents who were watching in the back of the room. I'll never forget that day.

Needless to say in the future I will probably not use this game and if I do, I will make sure to demonstrate it first.

中間テスト Midterms

2007-10-23T10:07:00.000+09:00

It's midterm testing and I have absolutely nothing to do. These are the most boring times of teaching as a juinor high school English teacher. I already made the tests with the Japanese English teacher and they don't trust me enough to help grade the tests, despite my offering to do so. So I am stuck for 8 hours today with zilch to do.

Luckily I brought lots of reading material namely "Death by Black Hole" by Neil DeGrasse Tyson. I have been reading this book for several months. I find that I jump into this book in spurts and it's taking a while to finish but it is one of the best science-based books I have read in quite some time as it outlines difficult concepts in a simplistic manner, but not so simplistic as to dumb down the information to the point of irrelevance.

I also have a copy of "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac as well as a few magazines to keep my mind active. And there is always online sudoku to keep me puzzled for a while if either books or magazines leave my head throbbing.

Luckily today is the last day of the 中間テスト, midterms and tomorrow will go back to a normal schedule.

Digging Sweet Potatoes ( サツマイモ）

2007-10-22T10:18:00.000+09:00

On Friday I went with the special education class to pick sweet potatoes ( サツマイモ）at a field（田圃） near our school. I actually had to join them a little later in the day after 2nd period classes because I had to teach two classes in the morning. We are going to make sweet potato pie next week so we went to the field to dig sweet potatoes.

When I arrived I was mobbed by a gaggle of elementary special education students who basically grabbed me and wouldn't let go. They were asking me all sorts of questions. They asked me if I was American. They asked me if the bike I rode was my bicycle. They asked me how long I have lived in Japan. They asked me my name and so on and so forth for the better part of an hour.

Then they became fascinated with my mountain bike. One girl attempted to ride it that turned out with her almost falling in a ditch. Just imagine a 110 centimeter 2nd grader trying to ride a man's 26" mountain bike that she can barely climb up on much less reach the pedals.

I told her repeatedly not to do it but she continued until almost crashing the bike and falling into a ditch.

Then the kids became interested in me jumping the ditch (溝渠, こうきょ) near the field which was about 4 or 5 feet wide. They kept chiding me to jump and I kept telling them it was dangerous. But no amount of naysaying was going to deter them from getting me to jump. So I stepped back a few feet and lunged across this mini-ravine. You might be thinking I fell face first into this ditch, or upon landing I broke my foot, but somehow I made it. My making it then spurred on some of the braver of the group to try. They made it too, how I seriously don't know due to their being so small and that ditch being so wide, but they did.

Then one curious boy started stripping down naked in the middle of the road. He started with his boots throwing them high in the air and ended with a teacher coming to the rescue before he was down to his birthday suit.
Upon nudie boy's actions, I decided to finally go help my students dig some sweet potatoes with shovels and hoes, 鍬（くわ）. I came right at the end and was able to help harvest about 30 kilograms or so of sweet potatoes. I then let the teacher who worked all day with these kids take my bike and I hauled the sweet potatoes back to the school in a wheelbarrow with the assistance of some of our special needs kids.

When we got back I helped them wash and place the potatoes on racks to dry. And soon we'll make sweet potato pie with these kids.

文化発表会　Culture Festival/Talent Day

2007-10-19T10:34:00.000+09:00

On Wednesday all students, teachers, faculty and many parents gathered in the 体育館たいいくかん, gymnasium for an all-day cultural blitz. Students, teachers, the PTA, and even several old timer's associations put on various performances from singing and dancing to drama and quiz shows. The kids get a huge kick out of performing and the teachers are running all over the school like chickens with their heads cut off. It's quite frantic from the morning until well into the afternoon for all involved.

This year about 20 teachers put on a drama about the state of humanity. They wore costumes and did a wonderful job performing. One teacher dressed in a bright red kimono and wore pigtails. She was imitating a child and she did a fabulous job. The play involved three "gods" who stood on the stage the entire time. They were watching over the humans who would come on the stage at intervals that represented different time periods in human existence. For example, the first humans looked like cave people, the second looked like 19th century peasants, the next group were from World War II, and so on.

After each performance the gods would come down from their pedistals and comment about how human live is strange and all the things that humans do, both good and bad. It was full of comic relief and mixed between the comedy was a serious message about living a morally straight life to help make society better.
There were several other great performances. One class put on a Korean Salmanori concert as well as a ear shattering Jang-Gu bashing. Jang-Gu are Korean drums shaped like an hour glass.

The biggest surprise of the day came from a group of geriatrics who were well into their 80s who appeared on stage in these matching happi like costumes, sat in a 正座せいざ (Japanese style sitting where you bend your knees and place your legs under and sit on the back of your calf muscles with your toes crossed under your bottom.), and then they started twirling these batons to the beat of some trendy song. It was amazing as the crowds supported these old farts with lots of cheers and clapping, not because they felt sorry or obliged to do so, but because these "geezers had their A-game on that day."

At the end of the day the brass band played about 10 songs and then it was over. I thought it would be borning before going but it actually turned out to be a pretty enjoyable experience.

A kid was stabbed in my town

2007-10-17T12:13:00.000+09:00

This morning my wife woke me up rather early at around 6am. She was watching NHK morning news and she had this look of wretched disgust on her face. She said a kid had been stabbed in our town. I immediately thought it must be one of the hooligans that roam the halls or lounge around our courtyard. Quickly this speculation was splattered as my wife relayed that the child was a second grader in elementary school in an area that I used to teach.

The kid had just parked her bicycle in front of her house, when a strange man started yelling. The mother then heard her daughter crying and rushed outside to see what was the matter. She found her stabbed daughter lying on the ground with two stab wounds in her chest and stomach. She was rushed to the hospital where she died about an hour and a half later apparently from the loss of too much blood.

I hope that whoever did this is caught, tried, and then given the death penalty for his actions. What sort of scumbag kills a 7 or 8 year old little girl by stabbing her? I hope the police catch him asap. That little girl deserves expeditious justice.

The Counseling Room

2007-10-16T11:06:00.000+09:00

At my current school they have this room located on the first floor between the toilet and the printing room. In it there is one table and six chairs. The room has no windows, the door has no glass, it looks like an FBI interrogation chamber kind of like the room where Agent Smith interviews Neo in the movie, "The Matrix."

I have on two occasions, one of those two being yesterday, seen the insides of that room while children are being "counseled" not by a school pyschologist or even a guidance counselor, but by the math teachers, music teachers, PE teachers, and just about any other kind of teacher. We do have a counselor who comes to the school once a week. He is an old fart, about 60 or 70 years old. He wears a suit and drives a racing striped Mini Cooper. He doesn't look very much like a counselor and I have seldom seen him engage students. Basically he just dwaddles in the teacher's room and occasionally he counsels some of the more seriously mental children.
That leaves 4 other days of the week open for ordinary teachers to act as certified, trained counselors. As I said, yesterday when I was heading for the toilet I happened to walk by the room and just glanced in at the characters inside. What I saw was quite peculiar.
In the room were six to eight students all sprawled out in the floor, laying across the table, with their clothes looking like they had all just played a rousing game of twister. They were all male including the social studies teacher who was standing over these soon to be dropouts. There were papers, bags, books and all sorts of things scattered all over the room. It looked as if a tussel had broken out.

Unfortunately I didn't get to peek in for very long, but this glimpse of the counseling room was enough to make me question what exactly was going on in there. As soon as I walked by the teacher closed the door with a loud thud and I continued on about my business but it sure left an odd impression on me. I hope it wasn't a bout of physical punishment or something more serious like a sadistic sexual episode. My gut tells me it was the former rather than the latter.

Dropping Kids off at the Pool

2007-10-15T10:44:00.000+09:00

This morning I got into work a little later than usual. I wasn't late per se, but I wasn't early either like I have been for the past month. I woke up a bit late, took a longer than normal bath and just dilly dallied a bit too much.

So I had to use the bathroom right after our morning meeting. But before I could go another teacher wanted to chat with me a bit. Normally there is nothing wrong with this and in fact I like chatting with her. But today, I had to do #2. For those of you who don't know the #1 & #2 expressions, #1 is pee, and #2 is poop. So today was a #2 morning.

The teacher was talking to me about her daughter, about her diet (she even showed me a bag of candy she had saying she was trying to get rid of it), about her weekend work and so on.

Well I was on the verge of an accident if I didn't make it to the toilet soon. So I quickly decided to spring off. But just getting up and running off is a bit rude so I instead decided to teach her a new expression while also getting to do #2.

I taught her this expression:

I have to go drop some kids off at the pool.

I told her it was a nicer way to express the need to go to the toilet for a poop. She seemed a bit confused so I spent some time explaining it all to her. Later on I even taught her another expression, "I've got to go to the powder room." and told her that women use this expression and men typically use the "drop kids off at the pool" expression.

And as soon as I finished explaining I ran off to "drop some kids off at the pool."

The Max Valu Shopping Cart

2007-10-12T09:02:00.000+09:00

Yesterday I took a walk that I usually take after lunch on most days. I have been doing this for about 8 months now. I decided to do it after I started feeling lethargic and drained. I was afraid of suffering from メタボリックシンドローム metabolic syndrome.

I get one hour off for lunch so I usually eat my lunch and then go for a 20-30 minute walk around the school and up through a park walkway. In the past on these walks I have enjoyed seeing trees, flowers, birds, fish, reptiles and insects. It gives me a breath of fresh air and I can reduce the stress from the daily humdrum.

Kids at my school all know that I take my daily walk because I am the only teacher who does so and I discuss it with them during some of our warm-up conversations. I know also that some teachers go off school grounds to puff a smoke because doing so on school grounds would be a violation of the rules. So while on my walk I usually see one or two of the smokers out loafing about the streets that intersect the school.

But while walking yesterday I stumbled upon a couple of strange scenes. First I came into contact with huge bullfrog that looked like it had escaped some African zoo exhibit. It was sitting on a concrete ledge just above the water line of a creek/drainage ditch that flows along the path that I walk on. I stopped and admired this monster toad. I must have sat there for several minutes transfixed on Giganto-amphibian, and he didn't blink or move an inch. So I decided to test to see if he was dead or not. I picked up a small twig and tossed it at the toad. About 10 milliseconds before it hit the frog jumped into the water and froggered himself out of harms way.

Well shortly after my enormous frog encounter, I came upon another oddity. Along the path there are bamboo groves and trees that line each side. On my left I noticed about 10 feet off there was a　ショッピングカート　shopping cart thrown upside down in between some trees. I knew this was a fresh addition because I had just walked this same route the day before and it wasn't there then.
So I debated getting the cart and returning it to the store, or just leaving it slumped up in the woods. The reason I debated it was what if neighbors saw me pushing this cart in the middle of a park in the middle of the day. I thought they might think that I was either A) homeless B) mentally deranged or C) a shopping cart thief. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong but how could I prove it if worse came to worse.

I decided to go ahead and do the right thing and brought the cart back with me on my return to school. All the while people walking, riding their bicycles and driving their cars were staring long and hard at this big foreigner, walking down the road in the middle of the day with a Max Valu shopping cart minus the basket and food. Admittedly, had I seen such a sight, I would have thought something strange was going on.

So immediately after returning from the walk with the cart, I notified the 教頭先生きょうとうせんせい, vice principal about the situation. He then grilled me about it and I explained as best I could about where the cart came from. He then called the office chief in and she called Max Valu.

The next morning the, 教頭先生　きょうとうせんせい, vice principal came to my desk and told me a manager from Max Valu came to pick up the cart in a station wagon and he thanked me.

Sex Jokes

2007-10-11T08:37:00.000+09:00

Last night I taught a group of a adults in a city near to where I live. In this class there are students who are middle aged, with one male and five females. In last night's class we started off typically talking about some random topic.

The topic started off with my recent haircut. They noticed that I had cut my hair very short and I told them it was an illusion, that I still had a full head of hair. I told them that they see my short hair but that in reality it is still long. I sometimes say odd things to teach new words or expressions that they may find useful when speaking or using English.

I then told the group that I cut my hair myself and that it generally takes between 3-5 minutes to do so. I went on to tell them reasons why I choose to cut my own hair, namely, cost, time, and cleanliness. This led to a short discussion about queues, and the dirty habits of the service industry, like cooks who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom or when they pick their nose and continue to cook.

After that one student produced an western joke book. It looked very interesting so that student asked me to pick a joke and read it. So I randomly turned to the first page that opened up, somewhere in the middle of the book. I then decided to read the first joke at the top of the page without previewing it.

The joke, a dumb blonde joke, went like this:

Q. How do blondes practice safe sex?
A. By locking the car door.

I should have known better than to just randomly read from a joke book, but by the time I had realized the topic it was too late. And so I read it again so they could think it over. It was a very difficult joke to explain both because of the content dealing with sex, as well as the cultural and multiple meanings of how words are used. In essence jokes are hard to translate.

But I decided to use this time to talk about methods of safe sex using English in a medical sort of way. We talked about birth control, condoms, abstinence, and masturbation. And then I explained that these are normal forms of safe sex. But as blondes are stereotyped as being stupid their idea of safe sex has nothing to do with disease or pregnancy, it has to do with being harmed while having sex in a car. So the stereotypical blonde chooses to lock the door as a form of safe sex.

We went on to read several more jokes to sort of balance the sex joke and these we pre-screened for sexual content. They were more easily understood and the students seemed to enjoy it better.

The Monotony of Award Ceremonies

2007-10-10T09:16:00.000+09:00

This morning we had an award ceremony held in the 体育館たいいくかん (gymnasium) that began at 8:35a.m. The whole school crams into the gym and the students sit on the floor with their gym shoes on. They have to carry their slippers that they wear in the school, and change back to them after they leave the gymnasium.

Today’s award ceremony was for last week’s sport tournament. Last Friday and Saturday students participated in 中体連 (ちゅうたいれん) chuutairen, a sports tournament. Only the 一年生いちねんせい(first graders) and 二年生　にねんせい　 (second graders) students were able to participate this time as the 三年生さんねんせい(third graders) students are retired due to having to study for high school entrance examinations.

These ceremonies are utterly boring. The 校長先生こうちょうせんせい(principal) gets up and gives a speech about some life philosophy, rule, or anecdote and then the students bow and he leaves the stage and then another teacher stands up and starts calling out names of students. When the student doesn’t respond loud enough the teacher scolds them and makes them do it again. Sometimes you’ll get one timid kid who just doesn’t have the oomph to speak up loudly. So the teacher will continue to scold them until they can get a passing “はい” or “yes”. Today was no exception as there were about a half dozen of these timid types and it dragged on the process for about an additional 5 to 10 more minutes longer than it should have been.

After the calling out of all students who were members of a specific team that did well, then the 校長先生こうちょうせんせい(principal) comes back to the stage, and starts passing out certificates to exceptionally good students. This time I think it was the lady’s softball team that received a top prize in the tournament, ranking either second or third overall in our district, which was a first for the school.

After that the student council representative asks any teachers if they have any other information, and of course one or two teachers always pop up with an announcement or two. And finally the final “起立 (きりつ)and 例 (れい)” are called out which means stand at attention and bow, and then students and teachers exit the gymnasium to start the day.

I generally just spaz out at this time. I have tried every conceivable way to pass this 20-30 minutes every time we have one. I have counted ceiling tiles, floor tiles, the gymnasium light fixtures, children with colored or dyed hair, the number of shoes in the 玄関 (げんかん),which means the entrance, the number of teachers sleeping during this meeting, and so many other things that I have pretty much exhausted any countable items.　I have tried doing mental math exercises, physical stretching, seeing how long I can stand balanced on one leg (about 5 minutes or so) and many other strange things that I’d rather not write about on here.

I want to be a hitman

2007-10-09T20:42:00.000+09:00

In today's ２年生 class we were teaching the expression:

I want to be~.

And we were teaching many occupations that students were asking us to translate. We started off with the normal jobs like nurse, doctor, pilot, hair stylist, cook, but soon things started to go sour.

The next moment I started hearing stuntman, host, hostess, Freeter　フリーター, and so on. These are not so bad but they are not ordinary. A host/hostess in this case doesn't mean the types that work in a restaurant. These hosts/hostesses work in bars and chat up drunken customers, getting them to drink more and more, and thus spend more and more at the bar and then occasionally performing other indecent acts.

But then a student pops up and says I want to be a 殺し屋殺し屋　ころしや　or a hit man. That shocked me but I decided to play it up and we taught him the word. The only reason is this kid is rather naughty and normally never cares about English but during this class he was very active. So we told him that a hit man's life is hard and you can go to prison, be killed, and you have to live with all the people's lives you killed in your memory.

The more we talked about it the more excited he became. So I thought he was so serious about it. But later on I learned that he was only playing it up to gain coolness points with his classmates.

New Teacher's Toilet/洋式トイレ（ようしきトイレ）

2007-10-08T13:45:00.000+09:00

HALLELUJAH

Over the summer during the BBBoJ hiatus, the school installed a new western toilet　洋式トイレ（ようしきトイレ）。　into the teacher's lavatory. The previous toilet was a god-awful squatter 和式トイレ（わしきトイレ）。

I and the old squatter had many a terrible bouts round and round, sometimes successful, sometimes not so. In fact, I had nearly fallen into the old squatter bowl twice, once when my pants became tangled up whilst trying to turn around for the poop paper, and the second time was just a failure to properly situate my footing before taking the old squat down to ground level.

After the pants twisting episode I decided on removing them and hanging them on the door hook while I performed my excretory duties. And that proved to be quite more complicated than it sounds, especially since I wanted to avoid dragging my pants around in the squatter or on the tiles around the squat bowl. It usually involved some fancy footwork and aerobatics but I think about 98% of the time I was successful.

I can say that I will partially miss the old toilet. It was sort of a reformation of the Japanese way of excretion. Now with the new high tech Toto western bowl, I just feel like normal. There's no pre-game warm-up, no clothing removal, no muscle stretching squat. Now it's just business as usual. I sort of wish they hadn't of changed it.

But soon after these thoughts creep into my mind, I then snap out of it and think about the new spacious area they created, with that nice shiny western-style Toto throne, that I happily use almost on a daily basis. It certainly feels more roomy and comfy compared to the last dingy and funky squatter.

RIP Teacher's Squatter
1977-2007.

Pervert Night Student

2007-10-05T12:52:00.000+09:00

Last night I taught two classes of adult students. The first class is full of middle-aged women and they are learning at a beginner’s pace. There are some very kind and sincere students who try hard to learn English in the that class. It went fairly normal for that group. But the second class got a bit lively in the conversation. The second class is full of older people who are mostly retired or soon to be retired with a few younger ladies as well. That class is a semi-advanced class of English speakers.

It was going pretty well up until the end. At the end of the class I played them a song, Frank Sinatra’s “Autumn in New York” and in that song it talks about lovers in Central Park and so on. For some reason this prompted one of my students to confess something to the whole class. I guess he got a bit aroused or confused or both and he came right out and blurted out a happening from his past.

He said he once went to New York on business with a clothing company from Japan to visit Sears Roebuck in New York City. He said he went there in winter and it was extremely cold. I said that that sounds about right for New York in the winter. And so far his conversation was pretty normal. But then he continued on.

And from here it gets a bit strange and certainly borderline raunchy if not down right obscene. He said from New York he decided to fly on down to Miami because he heard there were many pretty girls there (by girls he means white blond women). So he said he gets down to Miami and he continued on “There were no beautiful women, there were only refugees everywhere.” He said it looked like a foreign country or something. I then told him that Miami is known as Little Havana in some circles. He seriously looked upset that there weren't many "beautiful ladies."

So out comes the crux of his story. He said, “I was sitting in my hotel room and I noticed a sticker on a billboard outside. It said, “Call for a bird, with a phone number under the advertisement.” (He proceeded to explain to the class that bird equates with prostitute and so on.)And so I called. And then a few minutes later a big burly man showed up to my hotel room demanding money. The man said, "Money first, girl second." So I gave the man the money and a girl showed up. She drove me around in a taxi for an hour.

After that I asked the girl what’s next. (Here he wiggled his eyebrows like some pervert looking for a soft touch in an airport bathroom.) She said to me, “That's it. That’s all you get.”

You should have seen the look of dejection on his face. He looked as if he had lost all the treasure in King Tut’s tomb or something like that. It made me laugh and laugh and laugh internally but as he is my student and he is paying for the lesson, I just chuckled a bit and told him “Better luck next time.”

The whole while the entire class got really really quiet and they had this uncomfortable expression on their faces. It was a very odd thing to talk about in an English classroom especially considering the way he just said it so nonchalantly. It was peculiar to say the least.

I told Mrs. Booger about it and she thought it/he was gross. I tend to agree with her. She said she guesses that he thinks Americans are sexually liberated and that open sexual talk is normal in American life. I certainly have never given him any kind of impression of that sort. In fact, I keep it almost church-like in our classes whereas this man took it to XXX San Diego porn theater all in a matter of twenty minutes or so.

So that’s my funny story for the week. I hope nothing will trump that for quite a while but you never know what may happen.

Lazy Students in the Courtyard

2007-10-04T09:07:00.000+09:00

Our school has this artificial turf courtyard that is located between the two main buildings of our school campus. It was installed about 4 years ago and was a big project for the former principal to gain status in the area.

Every day at lunch and after school kids gather around the turf courtyard to eat lunch and horse around as well as to practice after school activities like badminton, calisthenics and so on. The turf was an excellent idea to provide students a nice, clean place for gathering that will last years and years. Had real grass been used, kids probably would never play on it, and even if they did the grass would die.

So yesterday, three ３年生 (san nensei, third grade students), decided that they were going to piss the day off sleeping outside in the sunshiny turf courtyard. These three boys are really disgusting types of children, their hair is all colored, they have earrings, wear chains on their pants and all sorts of things.

Combined I think the three might have the average IQ of a donkey. They have no manners, are rude and crude to almost all they talk to and basically don’t belong in school. They belong on a chain gang in a prison if it were up to me to decide.

Anyway, so I had to teach four classes yesterday and each time I walked by the courtyard I’d see these three boneheads all sprawled out on the turf snoozing it up. They looked stupid to me, but they attracted the attention of several of their underclassmen. It was a sad sort of thing for them because I know what kind of life they will soon have. Drugs, unemployment, alcoholism, imprisonment, prostitution, and who knows what other fate awaits the three.

The really sad part was the teachers who sat outside and begged and pleaded with these boys to return to the classroom. But without the ability to met out physical punishment you can scream and yell, beg and plead until you are blue in the face and they won’t move. They know the game and they’ve become masters at manipulating it. This is why I am a firm supporter of physical punishment that’s highly structured and witnessed. Some children don’t respond to verbal threats and the only thing that they can understand is a good whack on their ass.

People who don’t support corporal punishment have either never taught or live in some fantasy world where all the kids are filled with sugar and spice. That’s why these three boys sat outside under the sun, in the middle of the courtyard without listening to what their teachers said even though those teachers spent their free planning periods begging them to get up and go back to the classroom.

Meticulous Grannies

2007-10-01T20:15:00.000+09:00

On my way home from school today I noticed quite a few old ladies outside of their houses sweeping, dusting and otherwise tidying up the streets, culverts, and other items near where they lived. Most of them look like they are in the 100s, gray as pencil lead. They are hunched over with a back that looks more like a humpback whale, than a human being, but they are working like ants in an ice cream shop, cleaning up their area.

It's crazy, they sweep in places where there is no dirt. One lady in particular was bent over on her hands and knees going to town on the concrete ditch line near her house, and basically was sweeping so hard she was removing the top later of grime that had settled. I have to hand it to them, they certainly do work hard, but I just wonder, why they do it almost every day? I mean it is the same old ladies I see over and over outside, nearly every day. It sure makes for a very tidy neighborhood, almost too clean for my tastes. It's like they have some sort of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) for cleaning around their house.

I wonder if I'll come to be like them when I hit the 80, 90 or even century mark? I can certainly think of worse ways to spend my old age.

Japanese Husband & Wife Living Arrangements

2007-10-01T11:05:00.000+09:00

You might be wondering what the hell does this title have to do with teaching in Japan. Well read on and you’ll find out.

Today I was teaching a special education course where we teach English to two children who are mentally handicapped. Both boys are a pure joy to teach though you have to be extremely patient and understanding to get them to even repeat simple phrases.

I teach this class with two teachers, F-sensei whom I have written about previously as well as N-sensei. Today I got to chatting with N-sensei about her private life and she told me something that kind of shocked me. I normally don’t pry into other people’s personal lives because I don’t want anyone to pry into my own. But during our conversation it just sorted of drizzled deep into her private life.

I had asked N-sensei about her Internet usage or something like that. And then she told me that she never uses the Internet. Well I am a huge proponent of the Internet and I encouraged her to jump on it and get to surfing. Well somehow our conversation turned from Internet related activity to her home life. I think I asked her if her husband uses the Internet or something like that and from there it spiraled down the hole of N-sensei's life.

She then told me, that her husband lives in Tokyo, way on the other side of Japan from the Kansai area where we live. I then asked her several follow ups about this and she proceeded to tell me that they have lived apart for 30 years, that he is a salary man, that they meet once a month, and they call each other weekly, but that they have not lived together for over thirty years.

That threw me for a serious loop-de-loop. I was wondering what in the hell kind of relationship they had that would cause them to live apart for that many years, if she really knew who her husband was, and so on. I probably shouldn’t have asked all the questions that I did but curiosity got the better of me. She said that it’s quite normal in Japan for families to live separate and that she is fine with it. I asked her how her children felt about it, and she said it was the same for them.

This is just so bizarre for me because as an American, the only families I know who live apart like that are military families, and they don’t live apart for periods like 30 years. It was just a big shock.

I went on to tell her, that when he retires (next year) that if she doesn’t like him she can divorce him and with the new pension rules in Japan, she could take half his pension. She just gave this impish little smile and didn’t say a word. I was wondering if she is actually contemplating this, or just wanted to ignore me after having dug so deep into her life.

I felt bad afterward for I know Japanese people are not that open about private matters, but for me it was like a cultural archaeological dig. I was finding out more and more about family matters despite living here for over six years. I just don’t see how the family stays together when they are separated for that long of a time. You’d think they’d lose interest in each other after living separate lives for such a long time. But I guess living apart also might be one of the reasons Japanese divorce rates are so low. They don't have conflict because they live apart... I wonder if N-sensei will remain married once her hubby returns and retires?

TGIF & American TV Boy dilemma

2007-09-28T15:10:00.000+09:00

Today I taught my students the phrase T.G.I.F. As it is Friday, we Americans tend to use this phrase quite frequently so I thought I would teach it to my 一年生 ichinensei (first grade) students. I taught them that T means thank and G means God and I means It's and F means Friday. Then I had the Japanese teacher explain the deeper meaning to them in Japanese. We practiced this many times and they seemed to enjoy using T.G.I.F. (F.Y.I.: T.G.I.Friday's is the name of a restaurant/bar chain in America.)

American TV Boy is a topic totally unrelated to T.G.I.F. But I thought I might as well write about it before I forget. The other day I had this really naughty kid come up to me at my desk in the teacher's room 職員室　(shokuinshitsu) and he looked down at me with this impish little grin. I said "Hi American TV Boy." He said hi back and then he asked me, "Big Booger-sensei, what's your email?" all in English. I was shocked that he could speak English so well, so I gave him one of my online email addresses and prepared for the worst.

I was thinking this kids is going to send me some spam, a virus, nude photos or some other inappropriate thing, but then I get his email:

Hello��

I replied back and then he sent me another email:

I am fine thank you !

Do you like play station or nintendo ?

I like American game.

That game name is a Grand theft.

Grand theft is DANGER !!

Who is the most favorite person in a Prison break?

Because I use English translation of the PC, I may become a funny sentence.

And I replied back that I like some games and I knew Grand Theft Auto and so on. I discussed some American TV shows and he seemed to zero in on TV. He seemed to really be a huge Prison Break fan. Prison Break is a show about a brother who goes to prison to break his elder brother out.

And so we emailed back and forth about the TV programs, games, movies and just about any other topic a typical 3rd year student might be interested in. I never dreamed this kid would be so interested in American TV and culture. But then I get this email:

I am good !!

I have the elder brother.
The age is 18.

http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=0Si6YLWRS9A
I want to see Dexter.

Opening was seen with Youtube.

INVASION seems to be interesting.
I was surprised because Mahorn of PrisonBreak had gone out.
I think that I borrow DVD because it look very interesting.
I know Florida state.

http://www.axn.com/

For me, the drama in the United States seen for the first time is AXN.
I wanted to be born in the United States.
[Big Booger] teacher's younger brother is 14 years old wonderful with the high school student.
I am 14 years old.

What kind of person is [Big Booger] teacher's wife?
My elder brother retired though he learnt the judo.

So now I don't know what to say to him about wanting to be born in the United States. I guess I 'll have to think about it a while before I reply.

A long hiatus: Sports Festival & Crazy Karaoke

2007-09-26T10:37:00.000+09:00

Well it has been quite a while since I last posted. Mainly I just kind of flaked out over the summer holiday and didn't do much "internetting" due in part to a gradual lack of interest. So I thought I would try to get back into the swing of things.

Update time is in order. I am now back at the other school, the one located nearer to the heart of the city I live in. We just finished with　運動会　うんどうかい, undoukai, or sports festival. It was an all day event on Saturday September 22nd. It was hotter than hell and the wind blew up the dust just well enough to cause you to start to hack and cough like Model T Ford. It was so hot in fact that the school put up tents even for the children to shade them from the seering heat. I guess they were afraid some of the kids might die. Normally by the end of September it starts to cool down, but not so this year.

The highlight of the day came actually at night, during the party that the teachers celebrate at the end of 運動会うんどうかい, undoukai, or sports festival.　The party is called 宴会　えんかい　and is just a formal banquet for the hard work that teachers and staff put into making the sports festival a successs. Generally there is a lot of drinking, eating, and yapping going on at these parties. And I must say this one was quite on par with the norm.

Big Booger sensei hit the old booze pretty hard and had one wild time. I arrive early and we were given some practice 乾杯　かんぱい, kanpai or celebratory toasts. When I say some, I should actually admit it was 10 or so. As I was like the third person to show up to the party, each successive person was then toasted and I got a good early start on the drinking.

By the time the dinner was over, I found myself heading to a カラオケ karaoke place about 5 minutes away from the restaurant where we ate. By this time almost 80% of those heading to the カラオケkaraoke place were half drunk or even shit-faced. I was one of the later regrettably.

This is where it really took off. I got to see some teachers in a new light that I had never seen before. One teacher, let’s call him Waldo-sensei, stuck out in my mind as being the most entertaining. He was reluctant to get up and sing while three or four times teachers encouraged him to get up and give it ago. Only after a near room racking chant of “WALDO WALDO WALDO” did he finally get up and that’s when it happened.

I never would have believed in my life that I would see a teacher do what this man did but it was a memory I shall not forget for all of a sudden he jumped up on the seat of the couch in the カラオケ karaoke box, he ripped off his shirt, and started to wail! This guy is in his late forties and he is balding, and he was so dark from being out in the sun all day that he looked like a Miami beach bum, but when he ripped off his shirt and started singing “リンダ、リンダ、リンダーーー、リンダ、リンダ、リンダ！” I was blown away as this guy was one of the most straight-laced types I had ever seen at our school and here he was singing this song “Linda Linda Lindaaaa, Linda Linda Linda!” He was gyrating, swinging, and swaying and his face turned beet red has he let out these uproarious chorus beltings.

And it continued on all throughout the night, until near 1am when we all finally decided to wrap it up and call it a night. By that time I had probably sung six to ten songs and had listened to several teachers wailing on the カラオケkaraoke microphones. It was a night to remember.

The really odd thing is, when we returned to school, everyone acted as if nothing had ever happened. It was an odd experience to say the least.　

Do the Dew

2007-06-02T15:04:00.000+09:00

Today in one of my classes I taught the phrase:

"Do The Dew"

They seemed to enjoy learning this bit of cultural and commercial knowledge. But they also enjoyed the Mountain Dew that I bought them all to reinforce my point. I had to carry this huge solar blanket covered cooler or "chilly bin" as they say in New Zealand up three flights of stairs to the classroom.

They all appeared to enjoy the Mountain Dew. One student out of the 10 had tried it before. Everyone drank the entire bottle by the end of the two hour lesson. They said it reminded them of cider. So that led to a discussion about ciders and fruit punch. We discussed the differences between Japanese cider and American cider and then we discussed fruit punch in the same manner. It turned out to be a rather long discussion, nearly an hour, and they learned quite a bit.

View a 10 minute video collection of Mountain Dew Commericals above from Youtube.com

The reason I had brought up this "Do the Dew" thing to my Japanese adult students was due to finding Mountain Dew on the shelf of a local supermarket. I had been shopping at GinBiru, a small grocery store located about 5 minutes from my apartment. I had went there to buy fruit because much of their fruit and vegetables are grown locally. So I bought some fruit. On the way out though I made a swing by the drinks and found that they had about 10 bottles of 500ml (20 ounces) of Mountain Dew.
I knew right them I should pick up one for each of my students and let them try it. I find it is always interesting to use things that you find in real life and work a lesson around that sort of thing to help build interest in teaching English. Using a textbook is useful but with real items and real situations it's more interesting. I am always looking for something new and exciting to use for classroom stimulation.

No Cough Drops in the Teachers' Room

2007-05-31T20:57:00.000+09:00

I was told today that we couldn't have cough drops in the teachers' room. One of the staff let me know that having cough drops, cough drop wrappers or anything like that was not permitted. I just bought a huge bag of cough drops yesterday and was trying to get my throat in better condition before I have to start teaching full bore in the weeks to come. I was told it was because the cough drops look like candy and it sets a bad example for kids.

I guess the plan for me to heal myself with a few throat candies has been put in the deep freezer of doom. I have no idea what to do now about my throat. Sometimes I wonder if schools here are not a bit too uptight about these sorts of rules. I am an adult, and I am not a student, therefore rules that apply to students shouldn't necessarily apply to me.

For example, when students ride bicycles to school they wear helmets and teachers don't. Students wear uniforms and teachers don't. But I suppose cough drops in the teachers' room is just one of those things that cannot be tolerated. I guess I'll have to find some liquid cough medicine or some sort of drink that helps with a sore throat. If any of you who read this site have any suggestions, let me know.

Remember: No cough drops in the teacher's room!

Bishi Bashi

2007-05-29T21:11:00.000+09:00

Today I had 4 classes. Normally I keep it under three because my throat starts to kill me after the third class. But because this school is smaller than my other one I teach more. I have less time at this school so I figure that I should visit the classes more often.

Anyway, today I taught with a very strict teacher whom I appreciate. Let's call her BishiBashi-sensei. Now, you may be wondering what "bishi bashi" actually is. I actually learned this term from bishibashi-sensei. She demonstrated it in the class and asked me to participate in the bishi bashi bash!
Basically bishi bashi is the act of "roughing up" students who are naughty. By roughing up, I mean slapping, pushing, jiggling and wiggling. None of it is done to hurt the kids. It's more like a quick reminder for them to act better and not be naughty. The first time I saw bishibashi-sensei break out with the ninja smack down I was shocked. My jaw dropped and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It looked so much like corporal punishment to me. She was smacking them on the back, on the chest, on the head, on the arms and so on. She'd go off on a tirade yelling at a boy, jerk this poor boy up and wiggle him like a rag doll.

I personally don't get involved in the bishi bashi but occasionally she asks me to join in. I usually just laugh but one or two times she sort of forced me into the tag team bishi bashi. I never take it as far as she does because I don't feel it is appropriate. But I can say this, when her students graduate they are some of the top kids. Bishibashi-sensei keeps them engaged, prevents them from being lazy, makes sure that every student does their homework, does well on tests and is an overall positive influence on them.

Today Bishibashi-sensei put the bishi bashi bounce on a couple of kids. She especially targets the boys that represent the naughtiest of the naughty. She goes after any boy who doesn't do his homework, talks in class, doesn't sit up straight and doesn't act appropriate. She's like shark chomping down on a seal carcass. It's a site to see.

Manga　マンガ (comic book) Disturbance

2007-05-25T11:02:00.000+09:00

Today in class I had to teach two groups of second grade students, 2 nensei (二年生). I split the two classes so that I spend 25 minutes in each class. I do this so that I can visit their classes more often rather than visiting classes once a week or once every two weeks.

The Japanese English teacher and I went to the class and began our normal routine. We were reviewing the textbook because the teacher was so far ahead with the material. So we started from page one, and I had students read aloud the textbooks whilst their classmates followed along.

Normally I pick a student and then rotate in a random order so that I can easily catch students who are not paying attention. I just randomly call out students names from our roll chart on the podium in the front of the class. I find this keeps students focused as they never know when they are going to be called to read.
Well today I busted one boy, let's call him Slam Dunk (スラムダンク) , after a popular comic マンガ (manga). Slam Dunk is normally a very good student. He makes excellent marks on tests and does fairly well at paying attention and participating. This morning however he was distracted and didn't know where we were in the textbook when I called out his name. It soom became apparent why he wasn't able to follow. I saw that he had placed a comic マンガ(manga) atop his textbook. Normally I would just ask them to put away their private books or comics and continue on with the lesson.

Slam Dunk however disturbed the flow of the class so I called him on his mistake. I didn't scold him per se, I simply told him that reading comics in class is against the rules and I asked him to bring his comic to the front so that I could confiscate it. Doing this brought back memories of my own childhood when I had comics, novels, and even a Sony Walkman taken because I was using them in class. So I understood where he was coming from.

Later after class I asked Slam Dunk to come out to the hallway and I reiterated my point for taking his comic マンガ (manga). He seemed to understand but he told me that he wasn't reading the comic. He had only had it out on his desk, sitting atop his textbook. I tended to believe that he wasn't reading it but I told him that if he wants to have a comic he should only read it between classes and at lunch.

I am all for reading, even comics. It's always good when children read no matter how simple or irrelevant the material contained within. However, disturbing a class by reading is not and should not be tolerated. I hope I didn't make Slam Dunk hate me for getting on him. I am without a doubt sure that he is pissed off at me right now. I guess time will tell if he will get over it.

The Strange Boy - Dopey-kun

2007-05-24T15:28:00.000+09:00

There's a boy in my school is very odd. And when I mean odd, I don't mean geeky, nerdy, or anything like that. By odd, I mean he doesn't talk much, he stares at you like he could kill you, and he mopes along in such a dejected and belligerent way that you wonder if he's running on empty. I can tell there is something seriously wrong with this kid mentally. In class he just slumps in his desk and sleeps. He is now a 3rd grader and for the past two years he has kept this attitude. But his eyes paint the picture of a potential killer. I could easily see this kid going off the deep end and slaughtering one of his classmates.
Teachers have basically given up on him and are waiting for him to graduate as he is considered completely incorrigible. They let him sleep through the entire class without saying a word. Most of his classmates ignore him though I have seen him chatting it up with one or two students. He walks around the hallways during classes, he often goes home early or whenever he feels like it. If he gets scolded he just leaves the school. I suppose odd is really an understatement.

I think he has a bad home life. I was so concerned that I started asking about him to a fellow teacher. That teacher told me the background of this kid, let's call him Dopey-kun. She said Dopey-kun's father is a police officer and he is very hard on his son. She told me that his dad swears at him, berates him and makes him feel really small. I quickly asked if she thought Dopey-kun was being beaten by his father at home. She said she wasn't sure but couldn't rule anything out.

She went on to tell me that Dopey-kun's mom had ran away and he was an only child. That got me to thinking that this kid might have just been dealt a raw deal in life. After hearing all this stuff about Dopey-kun, I kind of felt sorry for him. That is until one day this week when Dopey-kun became far less Dopey and decided to yell at me for seemingly no reason.

I was walking down the hall chatting up students left and right. I normally ask them how they are, what they are doing, where they are going and the like. Sometimes I'll stop and spend a few more minutes talking to students who are eager to communicate with me. Today, I just happened to stop by a group that Dopey-kun had been hanging out with. I started asking lots of questions and it got a bit lively in the discussion.
Well I guess someone had pissed in Dopey-kun's okonomiyaki （お好み焼き）because he was in a raw and extremely bad mood. He started to yell at me and told me in essence to shut my mouth. Well, Big Booger-sensei doesn't ever take any lip from any snot half his age, and I just started talking louder and louder, throwing in a few melodies and whistling and even doing a little dance in the hallway. I guess this really pissed off Dopey-kun because he just took off down the hall pouting all the way back to the classroom.

I normally would never act that immature, but I think that kid needed a real dose of his own medicine. I never am violent with children. I prefer instead to "whip" them with kindness. When I come into contact with a smart mouth or a rude kid, I simply pour on the charm and act very kind to all around that kid. But I typically ignore the troublemaker. This usually solves the issue or causes the troublemaker to skedaddle as it did with Dopey-kun.

Hit By A Car

2007-05-22T16:36:00.000+09:00

Today after lunch I had to run an errand to the post office. Once a month I have to go to the main post office in the downtown area. I let the Kocho-sensei and Kyoto-sensei know that I was leaving and would be back soon.

So I peddled off and headed to the post office. There are several routes to take to get to the post office from my school, but I usually stick to the very narrow roads where only pedestrians and two-wheelers can travel as it generally is the safest way to go. Turns out that bit of logic might not be as sound as I once had thought.

Whilst riding at a normal pace, thinking about what I needed to get done at the post office, I quickly realized how truly unsound my thinking had been. I had not gotten far from my school, maybe a half a kilometer, when it happened. I don't know why she didn't see me. It's not like I am a tiny little man or anything.

I got side-swiped by a 4-door Diahatsu kei-car （軽自動車）, kei being a vehicle with less than a 660cc engine and meeting certain tiny dimensions, loaded up with a mother, her baby, and a granny. The mother was driving, the baby and granny were strapped up in the back seat and I got a real up close and personal look at the interior of the vehicle.

The woman just blew through an intersection that I just happened to be peddling through. It happened in an instant, and I didn't have a second to react. Her car skidded right into the left side of my whole body, slamming into my bicycle, and I, being a hefty American, held my ground and somehow managed not to fall down. I just sort of impacted the car and took the entire force without being knocked down or falling.

At first I was stunned. I just got hit by a car which turned out to be my first accident in Japan. I didn't know how to react for a micro-second. So I just sat there looking. I remember now hearing the crunch of the car slamming into me and seeing the look of terror in the mother's eyes. She looked so terrified, much like an animal you'd see on National Geographic in the jaws of some beasty predator.

Suddenly I wheeled by startled and shaking body around to the side of the car, checked my knees and arms, gave my bike a once over and then I told the mother and granny that I was fine. I said it was no problem. They asked me if I was sure and I said, "No worries." I then peddled off and they continued on their way.

Later I noticed that the front tire on my bike was a bit wobbly but it's nothing major. I might take it down to the shop where I bought it and see if the owner can repair it if it even needs to be repaired. I went ahead to the post office and while there called my wife and told her about what had happened. She asked me if I was all right and I said I was fine. I was very lucky that the lady wasn't driving an old clunker made from some 60s era steel, or wasn't driving wrecklessly. She was speeding but not too aggressively and that's what saved me from injury, prevented my bicycle from being crumpled and left her car unscathed.

Mexican Cornbread From the Potluck Party

2007-05-21T20:59:00.000+09:00

Just thought I would post up a picture of the Mexican Cornbread that I made for the potluck party that we went to on Sunday near the Kakogawa River. So without further adieu:

Big Booger can mix it up quite well in the kitchen we he gets an inkling to do so. Also I might as well post up another image of the food from the party to give you poor readers something to salivate over:

Sunday Potluck Party

2007-05-21T15:32:00.000+09:00

This Sunday my wife and I went to a recreational spot situated parallel to the Kakogawa River （加古川の川）that's about 10 minutes from our house. We were to meet several friends and have a potluck get-together out on the field near the river. When we arrived no one was there. It turned out one of the gathers was running late due to the train being late. So we waited for a few minutes, and eventually they all showed up in a vehicular caravan, just like you'd see a line of camels marching through a desert in the Middle East.

One by one they entered the park, but the parking lot was pretty much full by this time. We managed to snag a nice spot near the entrance so we could easily exit when the partying was over but the rest of the entourage had to park along a curved section of the lot.
They quickly disembarked and we were setting up tents, tables and getting our spot situated. The men did the heavy lifting, and the women went to work spreading out the potluck pabulum. It was all up and over in less than 20 minutes.

It turned out to be a very excellent day for an outdoor event. The sun was out in full force like Luke Skywalker and his light saber. It was an idyllic day, roughly 22-23 degrees, brief gusts of spring-like wind, and a few whispy clouds much like the tafts of hair sliding across a bald man's brow.

The food was awesome. There were spring rolls, fried chicken, dips, sushi, chips, cookies, cakes, Chinese dishes like sweet and sour pork and all manners of side dishes. I personally whipped up two batches of vegetarian Mexican cornbread. Why two batches you ask? Well it's because one I make for the whimps who can't handle spicey food whilst the other one is for those who like to have welts and blisters on their tongue. My wife mixed up a fine spinach dip, that I latered munched on when we were home. It was a heavenly mix of great food and tasty snacks.

Everyone got on rather well, there were a few beer drinkers in the mix, unfortunately for me I couldn't imbibe due to driving to the location. There were about 20 members who joined the party and of those about 6 were non-Japanese. Most everyone spoke in a mixture of Japanese and English. A couple of times we were lost in translation, especially a word that vexed even a few Japanese-English teachers: 肩が狭い　(kata ga semai) which literally translates as narrow shoulders. But the meaning is more along the lines of "to feel small in or with something." As in, I screw up at work, and all of a sudden I start to feel small around my co-workers. There were other words and expressions but I have since forgotten them.

One member broke out with a kite and started flying it high above our tent. He got it as high as his spool of string would allow, which was roughly around 200-300 meters. This lured an old man to our group. He was also flying a kite nearby and had noticed that there were foreigners where we were "potlucking" it. So he moseyed over to our group and started chatting up the kite flyer. He stayed for a few minutes but before he sauntered off he gave one of the female foreigners a four leaf clover.

First Graders Cooking Contest(１年生の料理のコンテスト)

2007-05-17T10:41:00.000+09:00

Yesterday the first graders had their cooking contest outside in the courtyard of our school. About 280 first grade student (一年生) gathered in small groups around the edge of our school courtyard, which by the way is covered with green artificial turf, the type you'd typically see in a sports stadium.

From 11:00am until well after 3:00pm students, teachers and staff were busy as Japanese June bugs. At first it looked more like an organized bit of chaos, but slowly it precipitated into a rather enjoyable time for all involved.

I had forgotten to tell my wife not to prepare my boxed lunch (お弁当) for that day, so I brought it and had to eat it at lunch. I also got accosted by about 48 groups to sample their cooking. It goes without saying that I was stuffed like a 100 kilogram turkey once it was all said and done. Students cooked up 3 dishes per group which actually meant that I sampled around 164 different dishes. By the time I got halfway around the place I was sick and didn't feel like I could move.
Most students stuck to the usual dishes. There were several different Japanese pizzas (お好み焼き). piles of hamburger steaks (sometimes like a Salsbury steak), (ハンバーグステキ), rolled cabbage, fried potatoes and so on. But there were a few surprises in the sea of sameness. For instance two groups made naan and curry homemade without an oven and cooked on a barbecue grill, which surprised me. Two groups made homemade western-style pizzas, another group made blueberry smoothies and three groups had whipped up some crepes.
Most of the food was quite good but I have to admit there were some stinkers in the lot. One really bad tasting Japanese pizza (お好み焼き) had the consistency of concrete dipped cardboard. In fact it was so hard I had to skip sampling it, much to the disappointment of the group that made it. My teeth are important to me and I just couldn't justify risking a chipped molar for easing that group's disappointment. Another group had somehow gotten charcoal(炭） dust in one of their dishes, so I pointed it out and used that as an excuse to skip the sampling (though I did try their other two dishes that didn't have the dust in it.)
Afterward I wrestled around with a group of 5 little boys who ganged up on me in a WWF sort of way. They attacked from all sides and they zapped the energy completely out of my body. I don't know where these kids get their energy, but I am starting to suspect that they might have some sort of nuclear core that keeps them going longer than an energizer bunny. It was an all around good time, but when I got home in the evening I had to take a one-hour nap before my evening class due to being drained of energy from the day's events.

School Trip 学年旅行 & Utter Boredom

2007-05-15T11:49:00.000+09:00

The 2nd and 3rd graders at my school have each taken 学年旅行 (school year trip). The 2nd graders are traveling to Hiroshima 広島 to see the Peace Memorial Museum/Atomic Bomb Museum and experience rafting. They left this morning at 7am and won't be back for two days.

The 3rd graders are embarking on an even grander adventure to Okinawa 沖縄. Each year the third grade students take off on a trip usually in the spring. For the past ten years they have visited Okinawa. Okinawa is to Japan what Hawaii is to America. It's the resort and beach adventure for Japanese who want to escape and enjoy the steamy weather of tropical Okinawa.

The 3rd graders left this morning at 10am from Kobe Airport. They will fly to Naha, and from there they have 3 full days of events planned.

For those of you reading who think this sounds like fun, the reality is it's more like a tour from hell. Prior to the trip, the teachers and students spent 3 or 4 days preparing for their journey. They went to the gym and practiced boarding the airplane, they practiced marching in line, getting on a train, and so on. Some teachers used bullhorns and timers to check their speed, and several students were scolded severely for being slow.

Teachers have it rough as well. They usually have to guard the students at night until the wee hours of the morning to make sure no incidents occur. That means taking turns standing guard outside the rooms, monitoring toilet breaks and god knows what else. Students get maybe 2 hours a day for free excursion time as all other activities are scripted to the letter. They won't be going to the beach at all, even though they will be in a very beautiful beached area. It's more like a military tour of duty than a school trip.

The second graders will suffer much the same sort of experience as well. Though their trip will be even more depressing as they will visit that Peace Memorial Museum which shows the tragedies of the atomic bomb and see those horrendous photos of WWII.

So that leaves me stuck at work with nothing to do. The first graders are in the gymnasium all day today. They are receiving lectures about this and that and they will have a cooking contest tomorrow. I will be a judge and get to eat 7 or 8 different kinds of dishes. But for today I am bored out of my gord. Needless-to-say it has been rather Zen like today, and I have gotten some peace whilst being in the teachers room. For three hours today I have been the only soul in the teachers room and it has been rather nice. The weather is great, so I think I will take a walk today after lunch to stretch my legs.

Pub Crawling & Bicycling Drunk

2007-05-13T15:23:00.000+09:00

On Friday I had a full day of classes and then afterward I had a night class for two hours. Before the night class, I usually go home to prepare and then drive to the location for teaching at night. Well, this Friday a friend of mine who lives in the same building had asked me for a ride as he teaches at the same location only to a different group of students.

As I was going there anyway, I told him it'd be no problem for him to ride with me. So we go to class and afterwards he asks me if I have eaten. I hadn't so he asks me if I want to go get something. I told him that I'd have to check in with my wife to see if she had cooked. If she had, I couldn't go but if not, I'd be keen on getting a bite to eat.

We then go home, I dart upstairs and ask my wife if she had made dinner. She said she hadn't because she was too tired. So I ask her if she wants to go out with us, and she says to me no, but that it's ok for me to go.
I and my friend decide we're going to get some sushi and beers at a kaiten (kaiten is basically a round or oval table with a conveyor belt on it that brings plates of sushi around the restaurant for customers to remove at their pleasure) sushi joint about 10 minutes from where we live. We proceed to chow down and in the process kick back a few beers.

Afterward my friend mentions this bar that's located about 15 minutes from the sushi place. So I agree and we cycle off to this bar. When we arrive, it's this cave-like trendy bar for 20 somethings, filled to the brim with salary workers, office ladies, and several hippy looking kids. We slide up to the bar counter, take two seats and order up. My friend goes headlong into a bottle of California wine, whilst I stayed on the beer line. I ordered up a Heartland beer made by Kirin Brewery. If you've never had a Heartland beer you should give it a go, it's smooth, tasty, and full of flavor. It comes in a green bottle, and is quite palatable.

Anyway, after the second Heartland, I decide to mix it up a bit and get a glass of Guinness, followed quickly by a Corona and then a few more Heartlands. By this time my friend has just polished off his second bottle of wine, we've made friends with about 10 patrons of the bar, as well as the staff. We get introduced to nearly every one and have a thoroughly good time. A few other foreigners pop in later in the night and it just turns into one big party.

So we finally leave this bar at around 3:30 or so, and I am thinking we are heading home. We get about 500 meters from the previous bar when we spot another and just decide to pop in for one more beer. This other place is sort of older and is sort of packed for it being 4am on Saturday morning. We proceed to chat up the barkeep and a couple of other patrons. We even run into some other patrons from the other bar.

We finally exit that place by which time we are both far too drunk to even walk much less ride a bicycle home, which is well over 20 minutes away. So we start peddling and swerving around like two clowns from a bicycle rodeo. When it happens. All of a sudden I lose control and go down smacking the concrete like a ton of bricks. I freeze for a second because I am in the middle of the road, which luckily was empty of any and all traffic. The sun is creeping up over the horizon and here I am in the middle of the road, knocked down with my bicycle laying on top of me, and then I notice that my hand is all bloody and my right knee and elbow are all grated like Parmesan cheese. I stumble up, and we press on home.

Lessons learned that night, don't over drink or pub crawl and if you do over drink, definitely don't try to bicycle home.

Castella カステラ & the kyoto-sensei

2007-05-10T18:52:00.000+09:00

I had three classes today, 1 in the morning and two in the afternoon. I would have had four classes but one got cancelled. It was a pretty good day with a lot of my antics coming out, perhaps I'll discuss those crazy antics in a later post, but today was a decent day made even better by a little gift from kyoto-sensei (vice-principal).

As I mentioned in my previous post about kyoto-sensei coming by, he came by again today this. Only today he was bearing gifts. I was sort of taken aback because he usually doesn't bring gifts.
In his hand be brought a package, a small package with this emperor looking guy on it. So I was sort of curious about it. He sat down at the desk near mine. He started explaining who the guy was.

It turns out he was one of the first Emperors of Japan, Tokugawa Ieyasu (徳川家康). More about this intriguing figure of Japanese history below:

Tokugawa Ieyasu (previously spelled Iyeyasu) (徳川家康^? January 31, 1543 – June 1, 1616) was the founder and first shogun of the Tokugawa shogunate of Japan which ruled from the Battle of Sekigahara in 1600 until the Meiji Restoration in 1868. Ieyasu seized power in 1600, received appointment as shogun in 1603, abdicated from office in 1605, but remained in power until his death in 1616.

Anyway, he goes on to tell about Portuguese traders who were allowed in Japan at the time, when practically the rest of the world were blocked from entering Japan until Perry came in and got rid of that practice.

Before he could finish explaining the story, the kyoto-sensei got a call and then he became very busy so he couldn't finish. He told me to enjoy the box of castella, and have a good rest of the day. So, I took the castella home and will eat it after dinner.

In case you are wondering what exactly castella is:

Castella or Kasutera (Japanese: カステラ) is a sponge cake made of sugar, flour, eggs, and starch syrup. It is popular at festivals and as a street food in Japan. Now a specialty of Nagasaki, the cake is thought to be originally from Spain, brought by way of Portuguese merchants in the 16th century. The name is derived from Portuguese pão de Castella, meaning "bread from Castile". Castella cake is usually sold in long boxes, with the cake inside being approximately 27cm long. It is somewhat similar to English madeira cake, also associated with Portugal. Note that there are similar types of sponge cakes named after the same fashion, in French: Pain d'Espagne, in Italian: Pan di Spagna, in Greek: Pantespani (Castile is a former kingdom of Spain comprising its central provinces, thus "Pain d'Espagne' is quasi synonymous to "bread from Castile").

View more about Castella on Wikipedia: English | Japanese

Kyoto-Sensei, Vice Principal & Golden Week Chat

2007-05-07T11:04:00.000+09:00

In Japan, vice principals are called Kyoto-sensei (教頭先生). At most junior high schools and senior high schools in Japan there is typically only one kyoto-sensei (教頭先生) and one principal koucho-sensei (校長先生). However in America, the system which I am familiar, there can be anywhere from 1-5 vice-principals, and typically only one principal.

Well anyway, my kyoto-sensei (that's what we call him), whereas in America they typically call a vice-principal Mr. BlahBlahBlah, is a very kindly and sincere type. He is very easy going, doesn't get angry very often, works diligently and is always available whenever you need him. He was an economics teacher keizai, (経済) (けいざい) and also has made it a habit to study English. He comes by my desk which is about 30 feet or 10 meters from his to have a little chat.

Today he came by to ask about my Golden Week. I didn't have any morning classes today so I was buried in some reading that I wanted to catch up on before my afternoon classes. So he crept up on me like an old rhino needing to take a piss in the Serengeti. He asked in a peep-like voice, "Big Booger sensei, how was your Golden Week? Did you go anywhere?" To which I replied, "I didn't do a thing this Golden Week. I just slept for about 10 hours a day." I then got curious about what he did for Golden Week, so I asked him, "What about you?"

Note: Golden Week is a series of holidays at the end of April and beginning of May that typically constitute only 3-4 days, and not necessarily a full week of holiday. This year Golden Week began on April 30th, and ended on May 6th. However we still had classes on May 1st, and 2nd which kind of takes the week out of Golden Week.

He went on to tell me that he went golfing once, in a place called Tsuchiyama 土山 which is only a few minutes from our school by car. He said he did a little farming at his tambo田圃, field, and that he drove a tractor to till some soil to get it ready for planting rice. He talked ever-so-silently because he doesn't like it when teachers hear him speaking in English. Some Japanese have complexes about the proficiency of their English and they don't want to be ridiculed or chided over mispronunciation or incorrect grammar usage.

After that he moseyed on back to his desk situated at the front of the teacher's room and I went back to whatever it was that I was doing at the time. I often look forward to the little chats with kyoto-sensei. I often wonder what he is going to say next.

Banana Girl's Rabbit

2007-05-01T22:03:00.000+09:00

As I said in my last post Banana Girl came in after I had given her the banana and brought me a return gift. She had hand made this little rabbit leaf creature with all her artistic skills. I was so proud of that rabbit that I decided to tape it on the screen of my computer at work with double-sided tape.

So without further adieu, meet Banana Girl's rabbit:

And she still asks me if I have any bananas. But now I can tell her truthfully that I don't (because I already ate it... hehehe)

Banana Girl

2007-04-24T19:23:00.000+09:00

I'm back. It's been a while since last I posted. I need to make this more of a routine ordeal, rather than the hodge-podge posting I've been doing lately.

Anyway, on to banana girl. We are now well into the new school year in Japan, which began back on April 6th. I have had several classes this year with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade students, 7th, 8th, and 9th grades respective to the American system.

So on Friday last week I was sitting at my desk in the teacher's room and eating my lunch. I don't remember exactly what I was eating but I know it was a lunch that my wife had made. I had just finished eating the main "bentou", or lunch box and had just pulled out a nice, fresh, delicious looking organic banana that my wife had put in my bag. I was eye-balling this banana, getting ready to savor the flavor, when up walks Y-chan.
Y-chan is a first grader who is kind of big. She has these chubby red cheeks that could pass for a sunburn if you didn't know her. She has a heart of gold, and a nice big smile. But she doesn't have many friends and she spends a lot of time in the teacher's room, especially at lunch. So Y-chan walks over to my desk and just stops.

I, meanwhile, am mesmerized by this banana and don't even notice Y-chan at first. But after a few seconds I could feel someone's eyes creeping over my shoulder like some back alley street stalker. So I slowly turned and looked up over my shoulder to see Y-chan staring down my banana. She looks like a little toddler wanting a piece of candy that's sitting behind the glass counter at a candy store. She is nearly salivating. I can tell she desperately wants my banana.

So I offer my delectably tasty banana to Y-chan, not thinking for a second that she would take it. But what do you think she did... she took my damn banana. She grabbed it and walked off. And just as she was about to leave the teacher's room, she turned her head and said in English, "Thank you." I yelled back half-heartedly, "You're welcome." But before she exited the room, she started walking around the room, proudly announcing in Japanese that I had just given her a banana.

She told about 4 or 5 teachers this until one of them told her it would be wise to put away the banana and not eat it in class. I was so embarrassed and felt hungry. I wanted that damn banana, and Y-chan just took it. I also know that she had already eaten her lunch because she usually eats her lunch and then moseys over to the teacher's room to avoid being alone. Normally I don't mind this at all, but when she took my banana I was sad and felt a little angry at her for taking it.

But today, I felt really bad for feeling that way. At lunch again, Y-chan came waddling into the teacher's room carrying something in her hand. Fortunately for me, I have made it a habit to start eating my banana first at lunch so there was no banana for her this time. But she walks over, stops again, and then gives me this thing that looks like a leaf with tape. I am thinking, what in the hell is this? But she quickly explained in Japanese:

"Big Booger-sensei, this is a rabbit. Thank you for the banana the other day."

I felt terrible for being mad at her for taking my banana. Here she gave me this leaf project that she worked on as a thank you gift for me giving her that banana. She had taped 2 tiny leaves onto another leaf to make it look like rabbit ears, and a rabbit's head. She then used a pen and drew 2 tiny eyes, a round nose, 6 whiskers and a tiny mouth for her rabbit face.

I was so proud of that rabbit leaf that I used double-sided tape and put it on the LCD monitor at my desk. I won't ever forget banana girl, ever.

Coffee Enema & Crazy Kid Meltdown

2006-12-07T20:23:00.000+09:00

Today I was sitting at my desk drinking a cup of hot Twinings Earl Gray Tea when Mrs. F plops down at her desk across from me. Today she got to chatting with me right off the bat. Usually she'll sit down and wait a few minutes before the customary "Ahemmm..." or "biiiigggg Boooooggeerrr sensei...." (in a totally nasal tone)... But this time she just directly started talking to me without any hesitation.

She said, "I am eating rhubarb these days." And I gave her a look like "Where do you come up with these intro-sentences?" I mean, we weren't discussing anything, I wasn't even looking her way but the first thing she said to me was this bit about "Rhubarb" so I was totally not prepared for it.
So I said to her, "Why are you eating rhubarb?" And she goes on to tell me some story about a friend giving it to her and so on. And then she gets to the juicy bits and let's slip that she's constipated and she takes the rhubarb to fix her constipation. In Japanese the word constipation is 便秘　（べんぴ）bempi. So I we got to talking about constipation, which lead to poop talk and some other bodily function talk which proved to be a very strange conversation once it was all said and done.
Then later on that day, we get to what I dub "The Crazy Kid Meltdown." It was just after lunch and I was at my desk reading the Asahi Shinbun on the internet when all of a sudden I hear this animal-like screaming ripping down from the hallway and into the teacher's room. The door was closed but it sounded like some monster had been turned loose in the hallway and was eating students alive.

So the book salesman who was standing nearby looked right at me in horror/amazement/shock, and I look back at him in much the same way. I decide it must have been a fluke so I ignore it and go back to my news during lunch. Less than a split second later, that same jungle-roar bellowed out again, and this time I heard some screaming and shouting. I decided to go take a look just in case someone was hurt or something.

So I opened the door to the teachers room and peered right. Nothing. No one was in the hallway and nothing was happening there. So I jeered back toward the left and that's when I saw where that wild noise was coming from. At the foot of the staircase, there I saw two male teachers and a male third grade student in what looked to be like some sort of pro wrestling hold. In between the two was an old ragged umbrella that all three were trying to hold on to.
I walked closer and noticed that a whole gang of 3rd grade students had gathered at the top to watch the action. Well, I guess this had been going on for a few minutes because there were about 20-30 kids watching these two teachers try to wrestle that umbrella away from the boy. So I casually walked over, looked at one of the struggling teachers, gave him my best "can I give you hand" gestures, and he nodded. I grabbed that umbrella and jerked it right out of all three of their hands. It snapped right in the middle and the boy just started wailing like some caged up raccoon that's been taunted for weeks.

I acknowledge the teachers, helped the one who nodded to me to pick up the shattered pieces of the umbrella, and let them still holding the student down on the ground. I walked back into the teacher's room and continued to drink my tea and read the news. Well about 2 minutes later I hear a scuffling noise and that boy starts screaming and running down the hallway. I figured he'd broken free and was making a dash for it. Within seconds, "Crazy Meltdown Kid" was at the school entrance, and had bolted for the door. In doing so, he slammed the door open so quickly and then it bounced back with such force that it shattered. We all heard the tell-tale sounds of shattering glass all the way down the hall in the teacher's room.
So I walked toward the 玄関　genkan (entrance way)and made a visual inspection of the broken glass. Rapidly about 10 teachers started cleaning the mess and taping up the dangerous shards still stuck in the door frame. Soon a man would come and replace the glass and everything went back pretty much to normal. It was eerily quiet for the rest of the lunch period, but not long after it was as if "Crazy Meltdown Kid" didn't even exist.

Head Skin Eater In Japanese Special Education Class

2006-12-05T18:16:00.000+09:00

I teach a special education class in the Japanese junior high school that I am at now. In fact I teach 2 special education classes and 2 special needs classes. I love it. I love the kids, I love the activities and think highly of the program to introduce English to these wonderful children.

Today I had a class with two of the severely disabled students. They have severe mental impairment and I have grown accustomed to their little quirks that make them unique. One boy, let's call him K-kun, he as atopic dermatitis called アトピー (atopy) here in Japan. Well he constantly wants you to scratch him. He will walk over to you and produce an arm, leg, neck or head and ask you to scratch it for him. I have gotten used this and sometimes I'll rub his head or something but usually I don't do it. I feel sorry for him because atopic dermatitis is hellish for children, especially one with a mental impairment.

Well the other student, let's call him R-kun, he is a nice little boy who is a tad bit more capable than K-kun when it comes to talking and communicating. He can respond and can pronounce words and so on. K-kun tries but he just doesn't have the ability but he gets a huge A for effort.
Anyway R-kun had band-aids covering all of his finger tips because he likes to chew the skin on his fingers. He will chew them until they bleed and it creates a huge mess not to mention makes his fingers look like they've been through a meat grinder. Lucky for us, today he was not in the finger chewing mood.

Instead, while we were trying to teach the two boys the song "Jingle Bells" R-kun kept scratching his scalp with his band-aid covered fingers. He was digging at his head (which is nearly bald due to a close scalp shaving) at a ferocious pace. As soon as you told him "ダメ”　he'd stop, but in the next instant he'd be back at it.

I watched him closely for a few minutes and figured out what it was that was causing him to scratch his head so vigorously. He was trying to harvest scalp skin so he could eat it. I guess he had some dandruff or something like that, and he was scratching like a cat in a washing machine at his head. As soon as he got some skin, he'd quickly pop it into his mouth, band-aid fingers and all and start munching on it. It shocked the crap out of me. I mean I had seen some pretty strange things happening in that class, but this topped the cake.

Eventually we got R-kun to stop by putting in "Back to the Future II" so he could watch it. He loves movies so we typically spend half the class watching English movies. We finished Back to the Future II in that class, and so we started part III. We'll finish it and hopefully we'll get to watch "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" the animated series for our next week's class.

R-kun and K-kun are two of the greatest kids but they sure take the energy out of you. And their homeroom teacher looks like a pale ghost of a woman. She's constantly got to be with them and the only time she gets a break is when the English or Math teachers come to teach a lesson. I feel sorry for her.

Fondling Students

2006-11-28T17:50:00.000+09:00

Today I was sitting in the teacher's room typing up some documents and coloring some pages to put up in the English room when Mrs. F, one of the teachers walks in. She's the same teacher that talked to me about her daughter becoming a flight attendant.

Well she looks over at me and says, "hmmm hmmm.... (I pretend not to notice)... hmmm hmmm... Big Booger-sensei..." and I start looking all around the room like I have no idea who said it. Eventually I steer my attention to Mrs. F and she tells me soon, "I'm not finished grading papers." And I look over at her with a look that says "Why the hell are you tell me this?"

She continues on, "I was supervising the tests today but I could grade my papers and get my work done." So I was like, "Why the hell not?" And she tells me, "Two boys were being naughty during the tests." Curious I took her bait and asked "Were they cheating?" To which she replied, "No, but they were noisy and I had to fondle them."

Right there I stopped, my jaw dropped and I just stared at her like she was some leper with feces on her face. I didn't know how to reply to a teacher blatantly admitting to fondling students, especially out in the open so everyone could hear. It took me a few seconds but I eventually mustered up the courage to seek more details about her fondling.

So I asked her, "You did what to the students?" And then she looked a little consternated and her eyes went into deep thinking mode, and she came out with another word, though very similar. She said, "I caressed them." When she said this I just busted out laughing. I couldn't believe Mrs. F would sit here and tell me she was fondling and caressing students during a test. I turned red from laughter, and Mrs. F I suppose got embarrassed and asked me what was so funny.

By this time I had realized what she meant as I had seen her do it before. She hadn't fondled students, or caressed them. What she meant was not sexual in any way shape or form, but her just saying it made me go to tears.

What she meant to say was that she had petted or patted the students on the head to get them to simmer down and be quiet. But what she said had had a completely different meaning. I soon schooled her on the meanings of the two terms she had used. After that she understood why I was laughing so hard, and she herself laughed a bit.

Soon after she was spreading what had happened around the room to her co-workers and they all got a good chuckle from it. Hopefully in the future she won't be fondling any more students.

Bless You

2006-10-26T20:53:00.000+09:00

Today I was walking around the hallways going to help some students with cleaning time at the school when one of the teachers saw me and said "Wait just a minute Booger Sensei!" And then one of the special education girls came right behind the teacher and he asked me to sneeze.

I looked at him like he had been smoking too much crack or something. He said again for me to sneeze. So I decided to play along with this and I mustered up a fake sneeze. Well not two seconds after my overly ambitious sneeze than this student said "Bless you." Well, I was totally awestruck. This student is a high level mentally disabled student. She can talk a little and write a little, but her memory is not so good. And she has some speech troubles as well. In the classroom she just writes words over and over and over and gets very little practical English time. But after I sneezed she said "Bless you" in very clear and precise English.

The teacher was glowing. He told me he had practiced with her for 1 hour that simple phrase and for her to produce it meant he must be doing something right. I made a couple of more fake sneezes and that student produced the obligatory "Bless you" each time. It was very funny and cute. I might try to sneeze again in front of her tomorrow to see if she has retained what she learned today.

No　糞, "FUN" in Japanese Parks Please

2006-09-24T11:35:00.000+09:00

The other day I had to go to the　市役所 shiyakusho, or the town office, for a meeting to discuss the upcoming November（トライやるウィーク） Try-Yaru Week activities. The six foreign teachers, AETs, met with the director of foreign teachers on the 8th floor of the town office building. We were discussing our plans for the upcoming activity in November for Try-Yaru Week, the period when junior high school students of the second grade (8th graders in America) go to work for a week to learn how the real world operates.

Well I found out that we had a new foreign teacher join our ranks. One of the Interac teachers had to quit in the middle of his contract due to his grandmother passing away. So that left the school without an AET. They found another teacher from Canada to take his place. So we did our introductions and all of that.

Then we had our meeting which took about 50 minutes. One of the teachers was 10 minutes late to the meeting while the rest of us sat and jibber jabbered while waiting for her. When the meeting got going, I had already decided beforehand to agree to everything. I wanted it to hurry up and finish so I could go home and rest before my night class.

After I left the meeting I was walking back to where I parked my car when I noticed a sign at the edge of the park. Most parks in Japan have signs like these, but this one really grabbed my attention. It was a sign warning pet owners about leaving their pet poo on the park grounds. Normally you'd see some steamy hot poo coming out of a dog's butt with a big あかん、"AKAN" or red X through it. But this one took a more environmental approach.

It displayed a dog laying down a fresh pile of ウンチ,　"unchi", or 糞，"FUN" -- pronounced like (Who - n) which means poop in English. The dog was hunched over giving it a good go and a nice steamy hot pile of poo was nearby. But right next to the poo was a flower with a bucket and a shovel. The flower was holding the bucket and shovel with one hand and holding its' nose with the other. Right next to the big flower was a smaller one with an X across the face and it was slumped over like the flower was dead. It made for a very comical sign.

And in the warning bubble, it says "keep the manners" or "preserve the manners". It was so funny I had to take a picture of it and wanted to post it on this site. So check out the No "FUN" in Japanese Parks sign below:

End of Undokai (Sports Day)

2006-09-19T15:27:00.000+09:00

Well Saturday was the day we did undokai. The weather report had been calling for a 70% chance of rain and I was totally expecting to come to work in a torrential downpour due to the oncoming hurricane #13, dubbed Shanshan in Korea. Japan uses a numerical system to denote typhoon nomenclature.

Tropical Storm Shanshan headed for Japan's northern island of Hokkaido after weakening from a typhoon overnight. The storm killed nine people and injured more than 300 when it hit southern Japan, Kyodo News reported.

Shanshan, with maximum sustained winds of 92 kilometers an hour (58 miles an hour), was located 260 kilometers west of the island of Okushiri off south Hokkaido at 11 a.m. today Japan time, the Japan Meteorological Agency said on its Web site.

Shanshan, the 14th-named storm of the Pacific cyclone season, is moving northeast at 11 kilometers an hour across the Sea of Japan and is forecast to be close to south Hokkaido at about 6 p.m. today. Shanshan is expected to cross Hokkaido's northern coast by tonight or tomorrow morning.

We had no rain all day long on Saturday. It was sunny, hot and windy. It couldn't have been a more perfect day for an outdoor sports event like sports day. We began promptly at 8:40am and did finish until nearly 4pm. The events went smoothly without any major incident. No children were seriously injured and overall it was a pretty good sports day.

The teachers all got obentos from the local yakiniku restaurant. It was awesome and I was starved because we didn't get to eat until nearly 1:00pm. Many parents ate lunch with their children as most of them had camped out on the school grounds.

And Habatan made a special appearance during some of the activities. Habatan is basically a chicken-like creature in Japan. It's really a phoenix, but it looks more like a giant yellow chicken to me. One of the teachers had rented a habatan costume and went around cheering children and acting silly. It was very exciting and funny.　　Habatan was selected as the Hyogo Sports character for 2006.

There were several activities planned, like the mukade (kids tie a rope around their ankles and run in sync with 5 other members) race, F1 (tire rolling race) race, Tug-of-war, Kibasen (calvary game like "chicken fighting" , and so on along with traditional events like the 400 meter relay, 800 meter relay, and an obstacle course activity.

When we finished with the undokai, the winner was announced. Each grade level competes against the other and they win points during the entire event. So ichinensei had 3 classes 1-1, 1-2, and 1-3. The winner was 1-2 for the first graders. (In America ichinensei would be 7th grade students). The big winner was 3-3. When they won and were presented the trophy, they went crazy. It was as if they'd won the Olympics.

Other than that the only other thing worth noting was the parents. Some of them looked rather sleezy. One mother was wearing high heels, a short mini-skirt, a puffy fur jacket (it as about 30 degrees celsius) and a big cowboy hat. My jaws dropped when I saw this woman. I couldn't believe she'd show up to a Sports festival wearing what looked to me to be "hooker clothing".

Some other parents were smoking on the school grounds despite the fact that smoking was banned from all schools in Japan back in April. They have no manners and set poor examples for their children to follow.

After work, all the teachers went to Himeji for a party. I was unable to attend due to a previous engagement. But I am sure they got drunk and had a great time. Perhaps next year I will be able to go.

(UndouKai) Sports DayTraining

2006-09-10T17:50:00.000+09:00

Well, I am back to school now. We started on September 1st, so it's been a while since I last wrote in this blog.

For two weeks from the first of September we're going to be doing training for Undokai （運動会）, or Sports Day. We started training actually from the 5th, because we had tests to cover on the 1st and 4th. Japanese schools are mainly organized in three semesters, called gakki（学期）. So 1st semester is ichigaki, and second semester is nigaki, and third is sangakki. Well during second semester students have undokai.

On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of this week it rained all day long so the training and preparation for undokai was held in the　（体育館） taiikukan, or the gymnasium, and in the （武道場）budoujou, the room for Japanese traditional martial arts. Boys trained in the budoujou and girls were in the taiikukan.

Boys are training for a pyramid building and gymnastics routine while the girls are rehearsing a choreographed dance. Of the two, the boys definitely have it worse off. They have to jump, flip, balance, and all kinds of other students. It's definitely more dangerous. And the grand finale ends up with three huge pyramids stacked with about 30 students each. The boys' activites are called マスゲーム, (mass games) and are modeled after the North Korean events to symbolize group dynamics rather than individual thinking:

Mass games or mass gymnastics are a form of gymnastics in which large numbers of performers take part in a highly regimented performance that emphasizes group dynamics rather than individual prowess. Because of the vast scale of the performance, with often tens of thousands of performers, mass games are performed in stadiums, often accompanied by a background of card-turners occupying the seats on the opposite side from the viewers. Mass games are typically used to emphasize themes of political propaganda. They developed alongside 19^th century nationalist movements, particularly the Czech Sokol movement, as they embodied youth, strength, militarism, and unity.

On Friday, Sept. 8th we did marching drills for about 2 hours out on the （運動場）undoujou, or sports ground. Ours is made of sand like the image above. Students and teachers went outside and practiced repeatedly how to stand up in unison, how to march in step, how to yell when the whistle blows, and so on. Every step of the process was rehearsed over and over and over. It got to be a little too much. I, not knowing that we were going to the ground forgot to bring a hat, so I went out and got a bad sunburn. Though I did bring my sunglasses, so now I look like a red raccoon kind of like the guy in the picture below:

I should have some images from the undokai soon. It should prove to be a rather comical and fun experience.

Awa Odori

2006-08-18T23:44:00.000+09:00

I and my wife met one of her friends in Tokushima for a chance to watch the Awa Odori, a special dance held during the bon season of Japan. Awaodori consists of a group of dancers clad in bright colored kimono, yukata, or happi, who dance to very spirited music in a way that would remind you of someone who is drunk or possessed by some demon.We took a train and bus from Akashi to Tokushima where we met my wife's friend. Then we took a taxi from Tokushima station to the concert hall to watch the Awa Odori performance. When we arrived there was a line of people that wrapped all the way around the side of the building and halfway down the street. And it was hotter than a witch's tit there. The taxi guy was kind enough to give us some uchiwa (fans) so we could cool down.Once we entered the concert hall and the Awa Odori performance began I was totally at awe. I had seen many obon odori in my time here in Japan. But the Awa Odori is very different. The dance is different based on the group doing it and the footwork, body rhythm as well as the music are totally different compared to other dances. The feet move in a snake-like rhythm while the body slithers around. The hands are used in a twirling motion sometimes with uchiwa to help accent the movements.

Even children joined into the festivities. There were several performances by children not more than 5 or 6 years old. They danced in sync with the group and did a very entertaining job. It was very impressive to see several generations of people from the same village putting on the Awa Odori. My wife and her friend made several "How cute" comments during the dances.

What wikipedia says about the Awa Odori:

Awa Dance Festival (阿波踊り, Awa Odori^?) is held every year in the time of Bon Odori (Bon festival) in the area of Tokushima city (徳島市; -shi), the capital city of Tokushima Prefecture on Shikoku island of Japan. It follows an accompaniment such as Shamisen, Drum, Brass, and Flute, and dancers dance and walk. Dancers wear regional costumes and often sing while dancing. Men and Women follow separate dance steps and wear different costumes, although most professional Awa Odori troupes will tightly choreograph the movements of their male and female members together.

If you get a chance to see the Awa Odori in Tokushima you will have seen something that Japan and Japanese have to be proud of. It's a cultural asset that should be preserved for generations to come. And it looks funky too!

USHIMADO INTERNATIONAL VILLA

2006-08-07T18:39:00.000+09:00

This weekend my wife and I headed out to a small town in the southern part of Okayama. The village, Ushimado (牛窓町), is located on the southeastern part of Okayama Prefecture, about 40 minutes from Okayama city. Ushimado, which literally means "Cow Window". Though originally, the second part "Mado" came from marobi, (転), which means to fall down.

To see a map of the Ushimado area, click here.

The name derives from a legend. The legend states that the wife of Emperor Chuai went on an expedition to Korea, when suddenly a huge eight-headed cow came and tried to damage her ship in present day Ushimado. The cow was split by the bow of the ship and the different parts of the cow made the islands in the area.So we decided to head to Ushimado by car. We drove west on the Sanyo Expressway all the way to the Oku Interchange and then about 40 more minutes to the villa where we stayed. We checked in at the town office and received information as well as our key. From there we drove around the small town and then up the mountain to the Ushimado International Villa.

The villa was rustic and located on a very steep mountainside. Luckily for us no one had booked the place on Sunday so we had the entire villa all to ourselves. It was heavenly, peaceful and serene. As soon as we exited the car the fresh salt water hit our nostrils like taking body shots of tequila off of some Mexican stripper.

Nearby were several shops and stores including an excellent gelato shop. We visited the shop shortly after stowing our luggage in our room. We drove up to the shop, went inside, and were treated to a luscious frozen dessert called gelato.

What's Gelato?

Gelato is an Italian frozen dessert made from milk (or also soy milk) and sugar, combined with other flavourings. The gelato ingredients (after an optional pasteurization) are super-cooled while stirring to break up ice crystals as they form. Like high end ice cream, gelato generally has less than 35% air - resulting in a dense and extremely flavoursome product.

The Copio, Ushimado Gelato Factory, had several gelato flavors to choose from, including olive, watermelon, milk, cocoa, and peach among others. I was tempted to go for olive but instead I chose a double watermelon-peach combo. My wife went with the watermelon too. It was awesome.

About 5 minutes up the mountain was the Ushimado Olive Garden. The Olive Garden was rather un-olivey... and un-garden like. There was a building with lots of omiyage (souvenirs) and it had a very nice lookout spot about 10 stories up. But it had a very nice view and we enjoyed visiting the un-olivey ungarden spot.

In the evening we went down to the pier where there was a ferry service and did a little dock fishing. I and my wife fished for a few hours and we caught some interesting creatures. I nabbed a small crab, and my wife wheeled in a tiny octopus. It was the first time for either of us to catch these kinds of sea life.

The next day we went to the Ushimado beach and swam for a few hours. During our time on the beach we decided to go "Kurage Hunting" or Jellyfish Hunting. We had seen several while swimming and had decided to remove them from the water because it's rather painful to be "venomized" by one. So we got some sticks and took out about 5 or 6 large jellyfish. It became like sport for us.

Later in the evening we went to a very nice yakiniku (barbecue) place in Ushimado and had a good time. The meat was the best we had had at any time since living in Japan. Even my wife complimented the great taste and quality of the beef we were served. It was mouthwatering. All the meat and vegetables were fresh and of good quality. And their kimchee was awesome too.

All in all our trip to Ushimado, staying at the Ushimado International Villa, and enjoying the sites and sounds of the area made for a very relaxing and entertaining trip.

Hashimaki (chopstick roll) & Matsuri (festival)

2006-07-30T08:51:00.000+09:00

Saturday night there was a small festival in our neighborhood. That morning we were woken up by the sound of taiko (drums) beating in the nearby park. Up until that time, there had been no mention of any festival, but the moment we heard the practice we knew it was coming.

By noon they had set up the entire matsuri and were practicing drumming. In case you don't know what a mattsuri is, check out the following link:

Wikipedia Definition of "Matsuri"

We decided to visit the matsuri and check out the action. It was a very small festival compared to some of the festivals we've been to in Japan. I think it was just for the people in our neighborhood.
We had hiyashiame, ひやしあめ, (cold candy), which is a drink sold where the vendor shaves ice on what looks like hand planer into a cup and then adds a sweet liquid that tastes a bit like sweet black tea with ginger in it. It was pretty good. The most interesting part was watching the guy shave the ice to make the hiyashiame. If you ever get a chance to try something original and not westernized, hiyashiame is the thing to try.

While there, we sampled all the snacks and such from the booths where they sell everything from shaved ice (kakigori) to octopus dumplings (takoyaki). And then I stumbled upon one item I hadn't had in a while, chopstick rolls (hashimaki).

Hashimaki looks like a pancake, wrapped around a pair of chopsticks, then covered in a sweet soy sauce called okonomiyaki sauce, topped with mayonnaise, seaweed flakes (nori) and fish flakes (katsuo). You eat it much like you'd eat a corndog, only it's a bit messier.

View the video below for more detail:

And so we enjoyed the sites and sounds of the little masturi in our village. The most enjoyable time was watching the children do the children's dance. Quite a few children would gather around the drum tower (yagura) once a certain song was played. And then they'd go around and around the drum tower doing a type of line dance. It was very cute.

The Himeji Aquarium

2006-07-29T11:03:00.000+09:00

On Friday my wife and I decided to head over to the Himeji Munici pal Aquarium located in the heart of Himeji City just down from the ever famous Himeji Castle. We were debating going to the beach but we decided on going to the aquarium because we both had to work later in the evening. I am so glad we did because it was interesting, fun and cheap.

We left rather late in the morning, I believe it was 10:45 or so, and go to the parking area nearest the aquarium at 11:15. We parked, which was unbelieveably cheap, at 200yen per day. But little did I know that the aquarium rests on top of a small mountain. So once we parked we had to climb for about 10 minutes up to the aquarium. It was good to get some exercise in while we were entertaining ourselves.

More about the Aquarium location:

Tegarayama Central Park
This is an Oasis-like park which is situated close to the central area of Himeji. Covering an area of approximately 116 acres the park makes use of natural features such as two hills, north and south, which are connected by a bridge. From the observation platform there are panoramic views of the Inland Sea, Seiban Hills and downtown Himeji.
Within the park there are a wide-range of facilities; these include an amusement park, an aquarium, a conservatory, a swimming pool, an athletics stadium, a science museum and a library.
At the top of the Northern hill there is a War Memorial in commemoration of all those who died during air raids throughout Japan.

So we pay our fee to enter the Himeji Aquarium. I was thinking it'd be at least 1500 yen each, but it turned out to only be 200yen each. It was unbelieveably cheap, that said the aquarium is rather small, and most of the fish are from Japan. There were about 10 outdoor exhibits, a touching pool for kids, 4 or 5 indoor exhibitions, and so on. There was even an area that taught you how to setup your own aquarium, maintain it, and enjoy nature in your home.

One of the more interesting exhibits was the giant salamander's they had. It must have been 20-30 centimeters long, and looked like a mix between a lizard and a human baby. The salamander hardly moved, looked stuffed, but was very much alive. Despite the fact, it was very exciting to see that creature.

There were countless other animals on display like penguins, manta rays, sea turtles, frogs, sea snakes, eels, giant carp, catfish, jellyfish, very strange looking turtles and so on. It was a very nice time to spend for very little money. If you are ever in the Himeji area and are looking for something else to do other than seeing Himeji Castle, why not stop by the Himeji Municipal Aquarium and feast your eyes on some of nature's wonders.

The funniest thing that happened was seeing two crabs going at it like a couple of lovesick teenyboppers. It cracked me up. Crab sex is not something you get to see on a daily basis, and seeing it nearly brought tears of laughter to me.

Unagi fishing at Kakogawa Ozeki

2006-07-24T06:45:00.000+09:00

On Friday my wife, her sister and her father and myself all went fishing at the Kako River in Kakogawa City. This was only the 7th or 8th time I had been fishing in Japan. Before we went, I had a check on my fishing poles that I store in the trunk of my car. Well, two were broken so I had to go buy some new ones at the bait and tackle shop down the street. Most Japanese tackle shops have tons and tons of goods available. I counted about 70 different reel models and countless numbers of rods to choose from.

I and the father-in-law went and purchased 2 new rods and reels, some hooks, and some sinkers. We spent around $35.00 each on some cheapies... hell we were going to be fishing on the side of the bank so why go all out on nice stuff.

Well we had big dreams of catching some うなぎ (unagi) or eel. We had purchased the right hooks, gotten the right bait, and were arriving at the right time to catch the eel. However, when we arrived some old farts were already sitting in the prime spots. So we go stuck in a rather bad area for catching unagi.

Before we went to the river I had mentioned that we should probably set the rods up with line and tackle. However the father-in-law said we could do it at the river. At the time I mentioned this it was still daylight out and I knew by the time we went to the river it would be dark. So we didn't set it up. Instead we waited until we got to the river.

That was a big mistake, at least for me, as I was the one chosen to step up to the plate and fix all the rods and reels. We had 4. I had to set them all up. It took me about 40 minutes to get it sorted out because it was dark, and I couldn't see a thing. Next time we'll do it my way.

Luckily for me we were at the Kakogawa Ozeki, a dam that spans the length of the Kako River. Lucky I say because there were plenty of lights all around the damn and we could see a bit, but it was still too dark to try to thread fishing line through hooks and so on.

So eventually we all were set and started fishing. My wife and her sister were the first two to catch any fish. They had the smallest poles and neither of them had much fishing experience. They caught some bass, a carp and a ギギなまず(gigi Namazu; A type of catfish). 　Gigi is the onomatopoeia of the sound that the fish makes. The Gigi Namazu has three horns that stick you when it wiggles so it is very difficult to remove from the hook without gloves or pliers.

I personally wound up catching 3 of these gigi namazu. The first one I caught was about 18 centimeters. It was the largest fish anyone would catch all night in our group. The second two were tiny gigi namazu.

Unfortunately my father-in-law didn't catch a thing so he was the first to mention that we go home. He packed his things in a flash and was ready to leave. He must've been really disappointed, because this fishing trip was his idea.

None of us came home with any Unagi, despite the fact that Sunday was Doyoo Ushino Hi (Eel Day) in Japan. On Eel Day people in Japan eat Unagi (eel) for stamina due to the hot weather. I unfortunately didn't eat Unagi. I ate meatloaf instead.

Katsumeshi (Cutlet and Special Sauce with Rice)

2006-07-22T00:07:00.000+09:00

On Thursday I had my final day at the new school. I officially survived the 1st quarter of classes at the two schools that I teach. Japanese education, at least for junior high, splits the year up into 3 quarters, called "Gaki" in Japanese.

Now I have summer vacation for nearly a month and a half. Hopefully I don't piss it off like I did last year sleeping all day and staying up late at night. We'll see how it goes.

But on the last day, the kocho-sensei (principal) comes up to me and says, "Have you had lunch?" I was a taken a bit back by his question because up until this point he's only spoken to me twice. I told him no, and he then said "Meet me around the front of the school, I will take you to lunch." He then b-lined it for his office, and I sat there being stared at by all the other teachers.

There is some kind of funky anti-"wa" shit going on at that particular junior high.

Wa (和) is a Japanese term which has become a cultural concept of its own. Imported from Chinese, "Wa" originally meant harmony, peace, balance.

The Japanese teachers are kind of strange, quite nice, but indeed strange. There is a bad element mucking about in the school. I don't know where it stems from, but it's there and you can just feel it slithering about from the taikukan to the budojo festering its way into every nook and cranny. It's always present, and when the Kocho-sensei invited me out to lunch, well, that evil "Wa" just sprang up like a Pit Viper on Crystal Meth.

So I just jumped up, ran to get my outdoor shoes, and met him at the entrance to our school. We drove about 10 minutes from our school to this nice little restaurant that I had driven by countless numbers of times but had never stopped in for a bite. I should kick myself in the ass for that. We went in and I soon discovered the fare was right up my alley. It was a Katsu Meshi restaurant. Some of you might not have a clue what katsu meshi is, but allow me to fill you in.

Katsumeshi （かつめし）is basically a cutlet of meat, breaded in huge bread crumbs, deep fried, then placed on a generous portion of rice, topped with a special sauce and served with a side of cooked cabbage. It's actually my cities' special dish as katsumeshi originated in Kakogawa city. The restaurant is called パラーディオ, Palla-Dio, and looks much like some Italian bistro you'd see in Milan.And then it struck me why I never went, because the name was Italian and yet the store was all Japan. It seemed odd to have an Italian name for a cutlet and rice restaurant. But Palla-Dio was kick ass! I recommend it to anyone in the Kakogawa area.

So we went in and gorged on the katsumeshi which was superb. We chat it up about education, about the Touching Toilets policy he is trying to bring to the school, and so on. And then the principal tells me that the owner of the shop we are eating in is his former student. He goes on to tell me all about the guy, like what a naughty little boy he was, how he played kendo, that he is married with three children and so on... and minutes later the owner appears and is chatting it up with us.

I had a good time with the kocho-sensei that day. And the katsumeshi was divine! The kocho sensei drove me back to the school and then the kyoto-sensei tells me I can piss of the rest of the day at home if I want. Well, as soon as he blinked, I had my desk cleared and headed home.

By the way, if you are ever in Japan, be sure to check out the many shops that serve katsumeshi.

Jishin (Eartquake) Drills & Gomi Monkeys

2006-07-18T15:50:00.000+09:00

In school today we had our Jishin drills, or earthquake drills. We had them at the end of third period today. What's so special about that you might be asking? Well it had to do with our "safety zone" as F-sensei called it. It seems that in the event of an earthquake students run out of the building onto the school grounds.

There were three rules for the procedure.

No talking.
No running.
No Pushing

And sure enough, when he alarm rang, *which sounded like something out of a Star Trek convention, the kocho-sensei and all the other teachers ran to their designated stations throughout the school. And the kids followed the three rules as if they had been controlled by some hidden remote control inside the vice-principals underwear. All the teachers were yelling "Hashiri! Hayaku!!! etc..." It was comical. And the students filed in like little mute pokemon characters.. two by two in utter silence and without incident.

But did they go to our "safety zone" out on the sand coated field where students play their sports? Oh no, that would be too simple. Instead, because it was raining and the field was a bit wet, they all decided that the taikukan (gymnasium) would be a much better place. So I asked F-sensei, what happens if a real earthquake happens while it's raining. And she replied that of course we'd go out on the field.

And so there we were standing in the gym, each grade got their times "1 nensei, 3:10; 2 nensei, 3:40, and 3 nensei 4:20." Then the head of the discipline committee charges up, takes the mic and starts railing on the students for a poor performance.
And shortly thereafter, the kocho-sensei (principal) going off on a totally unrelated tangent, starts giving a speech to students about not littering. He even compares the students to monkeys. He said, "Monkey's don't know any better than to litter, but you humans should." That nearly cracked me the fuck up. I didn't mean to laugh because he was serious, and litter (gomi) has become a problem at our school. But him comparing the kids to monkeys was a bit too much for me... why not pigs... or dogs.... or something, anything besides a (saru).

Which reminded me of the video below:

Asahi Super Dry & bicycling drunk

2006-07-16T10:19:00.000+09:00

On Friday I went out with some of my adult students from a night class I teach. They are all Japanese learners of English that I teach for 2 hours a week on Fridays. Well last Friday we all went to トリドール(toridoru, Chicken Doll). It's a 焼き鳥 (yakitori) restaurant near where I teach.
We were having a welcome party for two new members that recently joined the class. And so we started chowing down on yakitori, and drinking 飲み放題 nomih oudai (all you can drink) beer, for several hours. Ever since moving to Japan, some 5 years ago, I have fell in love with Asahi Super Dry beer and nomihoudai!

Well on Friday, I drank 11 glasses of the 800ml beers in less than 2 hours. Needless to say when I left that restaurant I was stumbling, drooling and slurring. Luckily I rode my bicycle, and didn't put anyone in harms way. Except that is for myself. I nearly drove off the side of this concrete bank about a mile from my house. Had I fell down that bank, I would have wound up 20 meters down in the river. Thank god I didn't crash cause no one would have found me for days. I also kept dropping things out of my pockets... and I would have to turn my bike around and pick them up.. I did this several times that night.

One very kind student however caught up with me and made sure I got home. She drove her car and looked after me peddling my bike like the drunken bastard that I was. The next day I woke up with an Asahi hangover from hell!

Touching Toilets

2006-07-12T23:09:00.000+09:00

Today I heard about some strange training that all the teachers at my school will participate in. It seems some company president will give a speech and then a demonstration later on in the day about how to clean toilets without using gloves or brushes.

He teaches a direct contact approach to cleaning toilets, urinals, and bathrooms. Now I normally would have just laughed this off as a joke, but when I tried doing that one of the teachers started showing me the document they received from our principal.

The president of some famous Japanese company will come and give a speech and then he will take everyone to a lavatory at our school, and demonstrate the process. They really don't use rubber gloves, nor any brushes to clean the toilet. From what I understand he actually touches the toilet surfaces with his bare hands. This has got to be a Japanese original.

I personally think this is very unsanitary and disgusting. I mentioned it to several teachers in the teachers room about contracting STDs like AIDS and herpes or HPV from direct contact with toilets. I also mentioned bacteria, germs and viruses that you might get from the surface of a toilet or urinal. Most of the teachers seemed to agree with me, but they said they had to attend the meeting as it was required. Although one teacher said she was abstaining from the demonstration portion of the training.

What is going on with these people? Who the hell advocates touching toilet surfaces with your bare hands? This goes against all common sense regardless of culture. This is a question of sanitation, not mores or norms of a society.

I was very shocked and somewhat baffled as to why they would do this.... I am still scratching my head.

Japanese Flipper: It's Swimming Time

2006-07-11T18:46:00.000+09:00

Today I swam for an hour in our school pool. Every day for the last few weeks, since the pool opened I noticed that no one was using after school. So I decided one day last week to break that trend, dawn my trunks and hop in.

I loved every minute. There I was in this Olympic-sized school pool swimming my heart out in Japan. I never dreamed that I would have a job where I would get paid to swim around in a pool, but that is just what I did. And so, on Monday and Tuesday of this week, I did it again. In the afternoon, I got my gear ready, grabbed the pool house key, and ran for it.

I enjoyed it so much, that I decided to try to invite other teachers to join me. I asked the science teacher, the special education teacher, the math teacher, and several others in the ichinensei grade level (7th grade), but none of them were brave enough to do go with me.

So I decided to ask the Kyoto-sensei (vice principal) if he'd like to go. He laughed and told me to run a long and have fun. And so I did. I spent a full 1.5 hours swimming away, back strokes, butterfly strokes, underwater swimming, you name it, I tried it.

And the whole while students were doing their bukatsu (club activities). Several boys from the Yakyubu (baseball club) hollered over to me. And I hollered back. Some of them I could tell wanted to jump in, because the temperature was near 30, and the water was great. But I am not their club advisor so I couldn't give them permission to jump in.

I love swimming at school. I'll probably do it again tomorrow as well, if the weather permits!

Tuna Fish Heads in the Japanese Supermarket

2006-07-01T15:33:00.000+09:00

The other day I and my wife went to the supermarket to get some ingredients for dinner. We normally go to the ghetto grocery called "MaxValu" which I really hate. It reminds me of Wal-mart, too big, too cheap, and too many scumbags shopping there. Not to say that all people who shop at discount centers are scumbags, but when you've had a chance to visit these deep discounters often enough and you start looking around, you'll notice a certain type of people who visit there.

I hate MaxValu. I hate everything it represents, even though their prices might seem lower, I don't think so always. I mean, they can buy in bulk and shave a few yen off their prices. But overall the quality of their food sucks. It's bought in bulk and is geared at the lowest price possible.. even if that means cutting in on food quality. Their produce is awful too, but these post isn't about bashing MaxValu... at least not today.

Anyway we'd decided to go to a smaller store about 5 minutes from our house. The place was called Yamada, and it's quite a bit more refined than the communist feeling Max. So we go into this place, which reminds you of some Italian or French market. The produce is placed in wicker baskets with hay inside, the store music is soft and mellow instead of the traditional J-pop crap from other stores, as well as products that are new, fresh and of high quality than a discount chain.

So we walk around the place, from the bakery in the front, to the produce section, until we finally reach the seafood department. And I tell you, they had one hell of a spread of seafood. Red Snapper, Blue Fin Tuna, shark, salmon, salmon eggs, kingfish, yellowtail, they had it all... and it was all fresh. And then we edged around the counter to a display that nearly chocked me... I got sick just looking at it... and instead of describing it to you, I will just show you a picture, because it forced me to whip out my camera and snap one off.
As you can tell, it still had the eyeballs in it. The carcass was just sitting there in that aluminum pan... It looked like someone had pulled a "Freddy Kruger" on that fish and then set up some altar to appeal to the dead fish's soul. I am not the queasy type either, but when I was ready to eat, out shopping for my food, and then I saw this nasty display of tuna carcass sitting on the counter, it made me sick.

And I guess what really got me was the eyes. They looked glazed over like some 10 hour old donut from Mr. Donuts. The poor fish looked to be in agony despite obviously having been slaughtered earlier that day. I hate looking at the eyeballs of something that I'd eat, it gives me the willies just thinking about it.

And so we floated on by until we came to the sushi. Now I just said I was sickened by the display of that poor dead tuna fish, but that didn't stop my fancy of the hypocritical.. I decided to get some scrumptious sushi, so I picked up a fresh box of premade sushi that was sitting not more than 10 feet from that tuna fish head of doom.

It looked so good. Even the tuna made my stomach do a somersault. So I took it home along with a can of beer that I had to purchase on the way home because Yamada didn't sell beer. And I gobbeled it up like a anteater in the Amazon. It was awesome, and even the tuna melted in my mouth so much so that I forgot about the terror that the tuna head had given me only minutes earlier.

Japanese Humidity: 93% My balls are sweaty

2006-06-18T18:46:00.000+09:00

It's roasting here.. the temperature hugged 80 today, which some might say is not too bad. I tend to agree if the humidity were say at 20-30% but when it's reached 93% at 12 noon, and was still climbing, it makes it feel like a popcorn bag fresh out of the microwave. You know when you first rip it open and all that hot steam comes tearing out. That's the way it feels today. And I haven't done anything all day long except straighten up our computer room, and sort through some DVD problems.

I hate the hot and humid weather. In Japan they call it 蒸し暑い, "mushi-atsui".. I call it sweaty balls time. Every inch of your body gets covered in a millimeter of sweaty film that grimes up your whole system. Even with a fan on, it still hot and humid.

So you might be asking why don't you just turn on the central air in your home? I say that concept is only enjoyed in the extremes of Hokkaido.

Just in case you have no clue as to where Hokkaido is, and admittedly, before coming to Japan, I had absolutely no idea as well, I shall provide an image below.
Hokkaido is as close to Siberia as I ever want to get, but as it's as hot as it is now, I probably wouldn't mind streaking buck naked in Siberia. Anything to get away from the heat and humidity of Japan. And it's 7:00pm on Father's day here so you'd think that awful furnace we call a sun would be half way around the world by now, but no, it's still day light out and we have a few more minutes of sunshine left to absorb. God I feel for those people who are out in the elements slaving away at their daily toils all soaking up UVs that surely must be adding to their cancerous savings accounts.

Last week I talked intensively we my co-worker. Let's just call her Mrs. F for the sake of not pointing any fingers or toes at anyone who might be reading. Mrs. F. is a very nice lady who loves to chit chat and chew the fat. Well let's just say she likes to "practice" her English with a foreigner. So in all actuality she doesn't like talking to me because she likes me, oh that would be too honorable I think. Instead I think she sees me as a means to a end, as a way to beef up her Eiken scores and to improve her position at Nova.

What's Eiken? Well, it's a standard test that many Japanese take to measure up their English skills to other like-minded individuals. It's actually called the "Step Eiken" and consists of 7 levels. 1-5 with 2 pre tests at 2 and 1. The pre-tests are there so that the jump from 3 to level 1 doesn't seem so daunting.

More about the Eiken Tests

Now I am all for helping some one prepare for a test in English, after all that's basically my job in essence. However with this co-worker I feel like she's some leech that's sucked on to me like Dracula in some 1950s horror flick. She's always got something to talk about, usually though the conversation drifts into her daughter, her daughters future, or something related to her daughter.

For example, her daughter is only 8 years old but her mother has already planned and plotted out her future. Mrs. F has stated in a very blasé-like way that her daughter will graduate from elementary school, be sent to a private junior high school, finish there, go on to a private high school, attend Tokyo University (a very presitigious Japanese University (some might question if these exist in Japan or not) and then her daughter and herself will move to Canada where her daughter will attend flight attendant school and thus become a flight attendant.

All of this has been pre-decided she tells me. So I ask if her daughter wants to do all that, and without a moments hestitation she tells me "Of course." All the while I am thinking, poor kid... her life has already been chosen for her. What a shitty way to live.

"Above: The Future Mrs. F's Daughter"

And so my conversations continue with this woman. I like her and will continue to think positively of her despite the feeling that I get that I am a free lesson for her.

On an entirely different note, I have been installing Windows Vista recently on a spare computer. Now I know this blog is about Japan, but I think it'd be utterly boring to keep all about Japan, so I will from time to time branch out into other areas like Vista.

In case you have lived in a cave or not been on the net lately, Microsoft is soon releasing (I say soon but who the hell really knows when they'll release it) a new operating system as the successor to Windows XP. Well, they recently released a Beta version to the public, that nearly crashed the internet, and I mean the entire internet.

Lucky for me, I got it before they removed it. At nearly 4GB, it was a monster file. Thank god for NTT B-Flets Fiber! I've just gotta have my fiber. At 100mbits bidirectional, it makes downloading monster files a breeze. I think I downloaded that 4GB file in 45 minutes-1 hour. I know a few people spent 15 hours or more on it. God bless them.

But I should have Vista up and running in a few minutes. I see the install screen going full bang now. It's taken nearly an hour to get it installed. I hope this works on my test machine.

New School Days

2006-06-01T19:05:00.000+09:00

I've recently changed to a new school (I teach at two on a 6 month rotation). I went to the new school on Monday and have been there for nearly a week. It was strange visiting the new school. My previous school wasn't that bad, it was old but clean and they were remodeling the building.

The new place looks like some shit hole third world bordello. The walls are peeling and cracked, the titles are grimey and funky, there are cobwebs all over the place, the school ground looks awful, and the teachers room is probably the worst.

There are only two buildings at the new school and they both are 4 stories with 2 crosswalks on each ends of the builds that connect the two buildings. There is a gym with a wooden floor that's all scuffed to hell, with not a single line showing full color... most of it has been scrapped or warn off from age.

The students look different too at this new school. They are slouchy and look like utter pisswads. There faces look gloomy and smug. But it's not just the students that look terrible, the teachers too look like they've been smacked in the face with a sack full of potatoes. They walk around all hunched over like that whack job from Notre Dame. It is very depressing to have to go from a school that was full on spirit to one that's ready for the graveyard.

The strangest thing about the school is the turf field in the school courtyard that lies between the two. It looks like a real grassy area, but as soon as you get within pissing distance to it, you can tell it's fake. This area, is the place where I gave my introduction to the students, along with some student teachers who would be there for the next few weeks.

The turf is a place for kids to wrestle around, hang out, and sit on during lunch. I have been offered the same opportunity but I think I will pass on it... something about sitting on plastic fibered turf in the middle of July when it hits 80-90 degrees (28-32C) just doesn't appeal to me.

The school's a real dive, but I think I'll like it well enough. If you're given a shit sandwich and your starving, I think you'll do one of two things, grin and bare it, or die. I am not the type to die, so we'll see how it goes. Besides I had been warned about this school long before I came by the teacher that taught there before me. We actually switched schools and I was filled in quite well about all the elements at play in that school. Had it not been for that, I would have been really fucked.

Lesbian Confessions of a Japanese Teacher

2006-05-27T13:20:00.000+09:00

This is sort of a retro post, I should have posted it in the beginning of the week but I was too busy and tired to do so. So here it is Saturday but I am referring to many things that happened to me this week.

Monday, I had very few classes so I decided to work on some トライやる (Try Yaru {yaru=to do/give}) Week for my students. Every year we do 2 トライやる・ウィーク　activities a year. We do one typically in June and on in November. Try Yaru Week is basically a chance for students to get experience in the work force. They work at companies and get experience that should show them a little what life is like to work in the real world.

Well as an English teacher for a public school district we are asked to create an international experience for students using English, activities, and culture. We have to put on a program much like an English camp. They call it a ミニー国際交流(mini international exchange). We have between 30-40 students who come and want to learn about foreign cultures, English, the west etc...

Wikipedia: トライやるウィーク

So anyway I am sitting at one of the workstations at work getting materials ready for トライやるウィークand one of the teachers approaches me. She's always been a very nice lady and I have enjoyed talking to her in the past. She likes learning English but she is not an English teacher.

On that day she had a mischievious look about her. I was wondering what was going on so I asked her, "How are you". Normally I'd get the ingrained reply "I'm fine thank you and you." But this time it went awry, instead of the typical reply I get, "I'm a lesbian". At first I wasn't sure that she'd said what she'd said, so I asked, "What did you say?" To which she said in both English and Japanese "I'm a lesbian."

I sat there for what seemed like days wondering how to respond. It's not every day you are confronted with homosexuality jumping out of the skeleton closet so quickly and without any kind of motivation or prodding. It's like going to meet a friend at a beach that turns out to be nude-only. So I did what I do in most situations where I feel uncomfortable, I embraced it with fierce passion. I gave her a high five and taught her the phrase "Right on." To which she continued to use throughout the day. She's worse than a parrot on steroids.

So you'd expect that conversation to end, with the high-five and all... but no, it went on. She discussed or at least attempted to discuss in her best English why she became a lesbian, who her girlfriend is, and the whole 411. And then, abruptly she slams on the brakes and stares deep into my eyes and says "But I like men too. I really like men." She really stressed "really" to the point of cracking her voice. I don't know what she was hinting at but she knows I am happily married and have no desire whatsoever to shack up with her.

So then I told her that maybe she was not a lesbian, and in fact she might be a bi-sexual. To which she seemed to agree, but then she told me her lover (from Osaka) is a strict lesbian. And then she popped the zit of knowledge all over the place as to why she and her friend/lover *she said both words to describe the person* were lesbians. They both are in their mid-30s and had been married with children. Both of their husbands left them. My co-worker's ex-husband had split on the family to join one of the infamous cult groups in Japan, and I didn't even bother to ask about lover-friend's situation. But it turns out they became lesbian (is this possible?... I always thought it was an all or nothing ordeal) but she says they became lesbians after their divorces.

I would never have thought in a million years that some teacher would approach me with their sexual preferences, ever. And yet she certainly did. I was surprised and have added it down as one of those more than memorable days to keep in the active memory department.

Rainy Days

2006-05-17T19:06:00.000+09:00

Man it feels like the clouds have swelled like a bull kicked in the balls. We've been pummeled by rain for about 4 days now. It's gloomy and depressing, but it does cool it down a bit.

The downside to rain in Japan is that schools close the windows. What's the problem with this you might be thinking. Well, most schools here have no air conditioning/heating/central air so when they clamp down the windows with 30+ sweatly little monsters, it gets hot and humid in minutes. I hate it, so I usually make them open the windows even if rain drips in a bit. I just can't stand humidity and sweaty funky smells.

Today I taught 3 classes, 2 nensei. In the morning I was down as I am still sick. But after a few cups of green tea, some cough drops and cough medicine I was slowly building myself back up to speed. By 5th period today, I was strumming along with the JTE. We had it down and the lesson went smoothly.

Today I was asked what I have learned about Japanese culture. Normally I'd say something about Kabuki, Sumo, Jpop or something like that. But today I decided to break down and share some interesting Japanese vocabulary I had learned. I talked about botton benjo.
Botton benjo (plop toilet)
Japanese-style toilet of the primitive sort which is underlain by a huge empty box.

I think it might have confused some kids as they didn't know what a botton benjo is. Basically botton benjo is a rather old style toliet. Botton is a word that describes the sound of "plopping". I thought it was worth noting.

In the US, there are similar toilets:

A typical outhouse is nothing more than a botton benjo without the box underneath. Typically a hole would be dug underneath the toilet portion of a outhouse and then the outhouse would be moved when the hole fills.

Other than the botton benjo my day has been pretty much the same. I did cancel my night class due to being sick. I need time to recuperate from being sick.

Now I am watching a great podcast called GEEKDROME:

Geekdrome Episode 25 - May 15, 2006
Exclusive E3 EPISODE; REVIEWS: "Mission Impossible 3" Silent Hill" "Stick It"; TRAILERS: "12 and Holding" "Lady in Water"; NEWS: "Knight Rider", "Beverly Hills Cop 4", "Enders Game", "Red Sonja"; COMICS: "Infinite Crisis", "Marvel Civil War"; COMICS FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE COMICS: "Fire"; VIDEO GAMES: E3!!!!!

Watching that episode now.

Feel like shit today

2006-05-16T18:12:00.000+09:00

Well let's just say today's one of those day's you'd rather keep hidden under the flab of skin between your A-hole and your sack. I am sick, have a hacking cough that just won't go away, my voice box feels like some three toed sloth dug deep down into it. I had to teach 4 classes today as was struggling to get through it. Some days you just want to die, and well, today's not one for me but it's nearly like that.

So on the way home from work I loaded up on some "Styx" Renegade style.

Styx - Renegade Lyrics

(Tommy Shaw)

Oh Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law

Law man has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my
home

The jig is up, the news is out

They finally found me

The renegade who had it made

Retrieved for a bounty

Never more to go astray

This'll be the end today

Of the wanted man



Oh Mama, I've been years on the lam and had a high price on my
head

Lawman said 'Get him dead or alive' and it's for sure he'll see
me dead

Dear Mama I can hear you cryin', you're so scared and all
alone

Hangman is comin' down from the gallows and I don't have very
long



The jig is up, the news is out

They finally found me

The renegade who had it made

Retrieved for a bounty

Never more to go astray

The judge'll have revenge today

On the wanted man



Oh Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law

Law man has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my
home



The jig is up, the news is out

They finally found me

The renegade who had it made

Retrieved for a bounty

Never more to go astray

This'll be the end today

Of the wanted man

That seemed to make things a bit better.

Word to the wise, if you teach, stay away from the slobbering blobbering boogers that flip and flap, and hack and bark. Because they're likely to get you sick and down and out. I love the little fart smackers but I hate their diseases.

Limp Sunday

2005-08-29T00:21:00.000+09:00

I didn't do much today. I visited a friend who is currently moving to a new place. I dropped by his old place and picked him up. He showed me his new place. He had warned me that it was pretty bad, but when I got there I was surprised. It wasn't as bad as I thought. In Japan I had been in and seen several shitholes here.

His place was rough, compared to the place I live. His toliet is Japanese style:

The image pictured above is connected to a sewage system. My friend's place is not. It has a huge pan that sits under the flooring. When you deposit your waste, the huge pan collects it. Every month, a truck comes by and sucks out the pan. It smells horrendous.

Luckily my friend Rob, says they'll be getting a western style upgrade in a month or two. I sure hope they do.

His place wasn't so bad, but compared to western standards it was the pits. In fact they are doing some serious remodeling because of the poor condition. They are painting every room with two coats of paint.

The kitchen cabinets were rotten. So when I walked in I saw a bare concrete wall. He and his wife had ripped out the old cabinets, and the kitchen hood and fan. The builder had used an empty cabinet as a hood, cut a square hole in the bottom of it, and mounted a fan inside. This sucked up all the grease and grime from countless years of cooking into the cabinets. It was awful. So they are debating how to repair the cabinets.

The flooring is made of 1/5 inch plywood slats about 10cm X 20cm. There are generally 40 in a room. The rooms are quite small. Well the plywood underflooring is hardly adequate. So I am going to help out tomorrow to add another 1/5 inch plywood base, which should make it sturdier. I'll take my jigsaw, and drill to help out. Hopefully we can get it done and make their apartment safer.

On top of the plywood are tatami mats:

Example of Tatami

These are brand new given by the apartment manager. So during the repairs they have been moved into storage to keep them from getting damaged or painted on.

There are some dangerous aspects of the apartment. It's got a 2 switch circuit breaker. I think it will support less than 1000 watts. It's small. And one of the switches inside the breaker, broke. Instead of repairing the old switch and replacing it with a new one, they wired a switch with wire hanging out of the circuit breaker box... it looks quite dangerous and ghettoed.

Along the danger line, it has a gas pipe mounted right behind the area where the gas burners are to be installed in the kitchen. It looks awful and dangerous. And Rob calls a guy who is a pipe fitter, and asked him about the rules for gas piping in Japan, and he was told there are no rules.

Gas Range in Japan

The place is a two story aparment. It's probably about 800 square feet or less. The bathroom is separate from the toilet. This is typical in Japan and I like this. Who wants to take a shower or bath right next to the place where your poop goes? Nasty.. western styled bathrooms are sickening now that I think about it.

But the tub is tiny. I have a small bathtub in my place but his was about 20cm's smaller in both directions.

The good things about the place is the apartment building is for teachers. It's teacher housing. They have a small area out front, and a backyard as well. Most of the other flooring in the place is made of wood. It looks very nice.

The greatest aspect is the rent. I think they pay around 10,000 yen a month and this includes a parking area fee of 2500 yen. The rent is very cheap, despite the fact that the building is in bad condition.

I will try to bring my camera and take some shots of the place so you can get a better idea of what I am talking about. Like a before and after. It should be interesting.

Another day gone

2005-08-21T18:33:00.000+09:00

Today was a real bore. My wife had a traditional "noh" singing performance today. I didn't attend because it is in Japanese and I don't know what is going on... it sounds like Gregorian chanting or something but like dogs barking instead. "Noh" is a traditional drama performed in Japan. The worlds are spoken in an ancient dialect much like Old English today. Imagine people performing Shakespeare and you'll get the idea.

I finally watched the Dukes of Hazzard 2005. That movie sucked. I mean the acting was good, and funny, but the story just repeated the same old lame one liners from the TV series. Boss Hogg was skinny ass Burt Reynolds, Uncle Jessie was Willie Nelson... there were so many changes where there shouldn't have been. It was really odd.

Yesterday I went to eat yakitori with my wife and father-in-law. It was good but the place was filled with second-hand smoke. Japan hasn't caught up with the rest of the world in terms of smoke prohibition/separation. Yakitori is basically just skewered chicken grilled and marinated with special sauces. Japan has many kinds of yakitori bars and restaurants.

We also walked our dog Tiger yesterday. She was going awol because she wanted to walk. So we took her out on a walk and let her run free in the barren rice fields. She loves to do that. It was windy yesterday and looked like autumn. The first thing Tiger did when we let her loose was run straight for the ditches filled with water. She got spider webs all on her face. It was funny.

Bullfighting in Japan

2005-08-20T21:52:00.000+09:00

Thought I'd post up a bit about my recent trip to Shikoku. Shikoku is an island off the coast of the mainland in western Japan. The southern part of Shikoku is very beautiful while the Northern section is a total dump. We drove through the northern side and saw lots of industrial zones, oil tankers, huge oil tanks, and all kinds of chemical manufacturing on the island. It was just awful.

The reason we went to Shikoku was to check out bull fighting in Uwajima, Japan. I had a good time seeing two bulls pitted against each other in a horn off. They butted back and forth until one bull either ran away or fell down.

The bulls go ape shit once they get in the ring with another bull. They need very little encouragement from their trainers. It's quite amazing to see this. It's very natural for them. And for those worried about the treatment of the animals, the trainers treat them more like pets than beasts. The bulls are shining before the match, they look quite healthy and in tip top condition.

The tradition is supposed to come from the Dutch who about 400 years ago brought two bulls as a gift to a Shogun in Japan. When they unloaded the two bulls, they just started fighting which is how bull fighting as it is known in Japan came to be.

I will post a link below of an AVI I captured with my digital camera. It's poor quality due to the fact that the camera is a still photo camera, but you can get a general idea of what bullfighting looks like.

BULLFIGHTING MOVIE

The bulls get a rank based on the performance. The ranking system of bullfighting is very similar to Sumo in Japan. There are Grand Champions, Champions and others. This year on August 14th, 2005 the Grand Champion was a bull from Ehime prefecture in Japan.

One really interesting fact about bullfighting in Japan is the fact that the losing bull wins more money. The reason is that the winning bull has won and thus has more pride. So they get their pride but with less money.

And finally many of the spectators were placing bets on the bullfighting matches much like any other betting is done on sports. Quite a few million yen were exchanged during this match.

I thoroughly enjoyed bullfighting in Japan and recommend it as a neat item to catch if you can while you are in the area where it is being held.

First Day Blog

2005-08-20T21:24:00.000+09:00

This is my first day to blog on Blogger. I haven't a clue as to what my theme will be but when I decide I am sure it will be interesting. I am currently living in Japan so I am quite sure the theme will revolve around Japan, but the who and what and where and when and so on are not clear to me at this juncture.

I don't want to post the same old tripe that you get on other blogs so we'll see what I can come up with in the near future. Stay tuned.

PREP TIME	30 Min
COOK TIME	1 Hr 50 Min
READY IN	2 Hrs 20 Min